Secrets Revealed
by TheMaidenOfTheHunt
Summary: For many years, for some as long as they remember they have been keeping secrets. These secrets have been weighing down on their fragile hearts and minds forever. They might be immortal nations but they still have the heart of humans beating deep in their chests. The Ancients who have been looking down upon their ancestors know that if something isn't done soon... *On Hiatus*
1. Prolouge

TheMaidenOfTheHunt presents to you a Hetalia reading the diaries fan fiction.

For many years, for some as long as they remember they have been keeping secrets. These secrets have been weighing down on their fragile hearts and minds forever. They might be immortal nations but they still have the heart of humans beating deep in their chests. The Ancients who have been looking down upon their ancestors know that if something isn't done soon that some masks and people may shatter and they won't be able to be put back together again. The Ancients have compiled as list of diary entries that they shall use to reveal some truths and lies that certain nations have shrouded themselves with. This story is slightly AU and shall have more of a focus on the North American twins although other characters will have their own time to shine. Parings shall include FrUk, Ameripan, GerIta, RussiaxChina and possibly PrCan and Spamano. There might be slight mentions of abuse, wars, probably slightly inaccurate historical depictions, head cannons, unimportant OC's and mental illnesses.

This idea is not new and it's not mine. I'm sorry if I offend anyone


	2. Chapter 1

"Daddy?" Alfred questioned suddenly eyes wide, "Do you promise you'll always love me?"

"Of course I will poppet." Arthur cooed.

"Ok Daddy I trust you cause you're the best daddy ever!" Alfred exclaimed. "I'm going to be a hero when I grow up just like you and you'll be proud of me."

"I'm sure you will poppet," Arthur replied as he placed the tiny child on his lap. "I love you Alfred and I always will."

"Those had all been lies hadn't they?" Alfred thought as he struggled to act like the oblivious America amidst all the meets, insults and taunts. "He doesn't love me, he hates me he even told me so himself. I'm just a useless waste of space. I wish I could make him proud of me."

"I wish somebody besides Alfred and Papa would remember me," Canada sighed. "Maybe if I spoke a little louder they would hear me but I would never be able to compete with Alfred's volume. Does wishing he would just shut up for once make me a bad older brother?"

Next the purple eyed nation France and England had once again began to engage in a pointless argument that would lead to an even more pointless fight.

"Stupid potato bastard! Let go of my fratello!" Romano cursed. "Don't take him away from me even if I can never be as good as him." He thought sadly.

At the head of the table Germany sat with a small Italian on his lap while another one hurled insults at him. Feliciano has a wide smile on his face even as he cried on the inside.

"•Please remember Germany, please remember being Holy Rome. Please don't leave me again. Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it." Italy internally begged.

Next to North Italy sat Japan who was busy scribbling away on a small notepad and agreeing with everything the American said.

"Oh America- san must you make such a foor of yourself to everyone?" The Japanese wondered. "But it might also be my faurt for encouraging him. *Gomen'nasai America- San."

"Pay your debt, aru!" China demanded to the blond American.

"Why won't you call me *Aniki anymore *xiǎo xiōngdì. Why do you hate me? Japan left China but did Kiku have to leave Yao?" China thought somberly as he inched away from Russia and closer to Japan.

"Become one with mother Russia, da?" The white haired nation demanded. "I don't want to be lonely anymore." he added internally.

Suddenly a bright flash of light occurred that left the nations disconcerted and disoriented. Copreal figures began manifesting behind several nations. Some were quick to react like America while others like Canada remained in shock.

"What do you want Mother?" Alfred spat, his words dripping with acid. "Haven't you ruined my life enough already!"

"Have some respect for the savage you bloody idiot," England retorted. "I raised you better than that you fat git."

"Shut up," Alfred snapped. "Stay out of this."

"Demon child," A black haired, slightly translucent woman greeted. "Pale face."

Alfred grit his teeth and placed his hand into his rather deep pocket and slid out a gun. "Now tell me why the fuck you're back Native America."

"Mon *petite Amérique that is no way to treat a lady." Francis interjected.

"Do not be mistaken you frog that is no lady rather a savage." England said as he examined the glare off between Native America and her youngest son.

"Alfie who is that?" Canada whispered as he walked next to his brother holding his polar bear in his hands.

"This is your mother Native America." Kumajirou interjected surprising Canada, England and France.

"Mr. Kumacheerio?" Canada asked surprised.

"•Nanuq," Native America nodded. "I see you are still taking care of my other son. I hope you did not fail at raising him as I need with the other one."

"Mother?" Canada mumbled into America's ear. "We have a mother? How come I've never met her."

"She gave me to raise you and then you were eventually found by France." The ice spirit replied to his owner.

"If I would have known what a mess the other one would turn out to be I would have raised you instead." Native America said as she shifted her long, black braid over her back.

"Shut up! I hate you, Mother." Alfred hissed as he stomped away to avoid losing his temper.

"Why do you hate America so much?" Canada asked as he stepped away from the ghost and closer towards France.

"He's a disgrace to my name. All his brothers before him were great and powerful empires, Aztec, Maya and Inca all were powerful in their own right and he is a pathetic waste of space. •Kanata or Canadia as you go by now I'm sure you've made me proud somehow." Native America beamed.

"Mademoiselle his name is Canada and I would appreciate if you did not batter *mon fils like that." France defended his son.

"Thanks Papa." Matthew smiled happy that he was being acknowledged.

"Excuse me I don't want to interrupt the savage but I want to talk to Arthur and my grand babies!" Exclaimed a ginger with incredibly, curly hair which hanging loose to her shoulders. Her face and shoulders are covered in freckles, and her eyes are a slightly paler green than England's.

"Mother?" Arthur asked sounding faint. "You're here, I've missed you."

"I know baby I've missed you to," Britannia said as she tried engulfed her youngest son in a hug only to fall straight through him. "Aw, I can't even give you a hug. I'm so proud of you Arthur! You've given me so many grand babies."

"Do not just stand there Mathieu, say hello to your grandmother." Francis said encouraging his son.

"Is this one of my grandsons?" Britannia questioned as she stepped closer to the unsure nation. "He's so cute!"

The energetic, ancient nation bounded around the Canadian firing a stream of questions which Matthew was more than happy to answer.

"It feels nice to be the centre of attention for once," Matthew thought happily. "Britannia seems a lot nice than Native America. She was so mean to Al. Wait where is Al!"

"Where's America?" Matthew blurted out suddenly.

"America?" Britannia questioned. "Isn't he my grand baby? Where is he?"

"The fat arse got his feathers ruffled after Native America spoke to him." Arthur snorted.

"Arthur Kirkland!" Britannia snapped. "How could you talk about your son like that."

"I'm sorry Mother but he is no son of mine. " Arthur apologized, sort of.

Britannia could do not but shake her head knowing that her words would not change the mind of her stubborn son. She smiled sadly and prayed that the diary would help bring the little family back together, especially the twins.

"Let's go find my other grand baby!" The ginger exclaimed as she ran off in a random direction. Francis and Matthew shrugged at each other and followed the hyper woman. Arthur sighed and began following them at a more unhurried pace.

A young looking man stepped forward dressed in armor and a cape. He had deeply tanned, and both his hair and eyes are a dark brown. "I'm sorry for leaving you my grandchildren, Feliciano and Romano."

"Grandpa Rome!" Italy exclaimed. "You're back, I missed you so much."

"*Nonno," Romano breathed as he stepped forward to touch his grandfather only for his hand to pass through the ghostly apparition.

"I'm sorry *nipoti my body no longer exists on this plane," The Roman Empire apologized as he tried to lay a hand on his favorite grandchild, Feliciano. "Unless, America! Yes he can help us."

"How can the hamburger bastard help us?" Romano cursed.

"He has an ability, it would allow me to be able to hold you one more time."

"Ve~ I'm sure Mr. America would help us." Italy smiled as he grabbed unto his brother's arm. "Let's go an find him fratello."

"Let me go bastardo!" Romano exclaimed but went along with his brother. Rome followed behind them all the while commenting and cooing at his grandchildren about how they've grown and how he's so proud of them.

"Where is the asshole?" Romano snapped as he opened a closet.

"Ve~ maybe he's in the bathroom?" Northern Italy suggested.

Southern Italy raises a hand to his face. "Couldn't you have said that before idiota."

"Do not be so mean to your brother." The Roman Empire gently chided.

"Sorry *nonno." Southern Italy apologized quickly under the slight glare from his grandfather.

The two Italies walked down the hallway headed towards the bathroom with Rome humming happily underneath his breath.

Alfred rested his head along the only remaining fully intact wall as he clenched his fists as he tried to reign in his anger. Around the blond nation lay the remains of a bathroom that had been demolished after his rampage.

"I hate her so much," Alfred seethed. "How dare she come back! Hasn't she ruined my life enough already?"

Faint footsteps began echoing down the hall getting closer and closer to America's current location. America grinned his mask already back in place.

The door opened before falling off its hinges completely.

"Ve~ what happened here?" Italy questioned.

"Dudes, the hero just saved everyone from a bad guy!" America exclaimed obnoxiously.

"Uh sure, fatty. Grandpa Rome said you have a power that could let him become corporeal again." Romano said as he looked around at the wrecked room.

All the toilets had been uprooted from their previous places and had been thrown around the room and destroyed. The sinks and mirrors were naught but shards scattered around the room, in the ceiling and stuck in America's arm. There was also a mysterious hole that went down to an unknown depth.

"Grand baby!" A woman shrieked as she tackled the world superpower. "It's so nice to meet another grand baby of mine."

America beamed at the slightly shorter woman happily, it had been his first hug in almost a month from a nation. If you choose to not count Canada it had been almost two years now, after all no one wanted to touch the fat, greasy pig they assumed Alfred to be.

"I'm Britannia your grandmother! It's so nice to meet my youngest grand baby. You're so cute!" Brittania squealed.

"She is so fast." panted Francis as he and a visibly less tired Matthew arrived.

"How can she touch Alfred?" Mathew asked softly with no one but Francis, Brittania and Alfred hearing him.

"That's a good question Mathieu. How is it your brother is able to touch Brittania and not you." Francis questioned.

"Cause the hero can do anything dudes!" America exclaimed to the annoyance of everyone but the Ancients and Canada.

"That makes no sense prat," England insulted as he finally arrived. "It must be magic you wanker."

"Magic isn't real Iggy." America smiled.

"Of course is it you tosser don't you see Flying Mint Bunny," England said as he gestured to what looked like thin air as most but to Canada, America and the Ancients. "And my name is England so get it right!"

"I can see it," whispered Matthew. "The name wasn't very creative though."

"Be nice Arty," Brittania gently scolded.

"Hey how come she gets to call you Arty and I can't." America pouted.

"Because I actually like her," Arthur explained smugly. "You on the other hand I hate."

Brittania who was still holding America felt him deflate at the insult. She laid a kiss on his cheek and whispered. "I promise you'll be alright. "

Brittania released her crushing grip on her youngest grandson and bounded over to annoy her youngest son.

"So can you help us or not pig?" The older Italy asked rudely.

"I actually don't know how." Alfred admitted sounding slightly ashamed.

"Must you be so useless tosser?" England insulted. "Mother are you sure that America has any magical ability?"

"He just needs some help that's all. Please hold out your hands please Alfred, i'll draw at your magical energy." Brittania explained.

Alfred nodded deciding that he could trust his grandmother. America held out his too pale hands and placed them in his grandmother's smaller hands. The ginger began muttering something underneath her breath as America began to glow a faint silver color which got progressively brighter. The light became glaringly bright causing to everyone to cover or close their eyes.

"Is it over? Are you alright Amerique?" Francis questioned feeling a rare moment of concern for his almost colony.

Alfred stepped forward his normally sea blue eyes having a silver tint. He nodded mutely before he walked up to the Ancients and placed his hands on them.

Unlike before the Alfred did not glow as harshly instead glowing a softer silvery color. The ancients began looking more and more copreal as the minutes passes by, America on the other hand began paling at an alarming rate. With a final burst of light the Ancients materialized fully and America collapsed into the Roman Empire's hands.

"Alfred!" Matthew shouted. Well to him it was a shout but to everyone else it was a mere whisper.

"I will put America to bed and then we will spend some time okay *nepotibus meis." Rome said as he hefted the nation in his hand into proper bridal style position.

"Grandpa Rome must be really strong to be able to carry America don't you think Feli." Southern Italy said snidely.

"Ve~ that's not very nice Romano even if it's a little true." North Italy replied.

Rome could only shake his head softly at his grandchildren's ignorance as he brought the third largest nation in the world to a small unoccupied guest room. As soon as placed America on the small bed he was tackled by two crying Italians.

"Come *nepotibus meis let's leave America to his rest."

"Ve~ okay." Feliciano sniffed.

The ancient nation walked out if the room with an Italian on each arm. Behind them on the bed the blond began to toss and turn as if stuck in a horrible nightmare. "Mattie." He whimpered subconsciously.

Native America floated into the room to look at her son. She stepped closer and placed a cold hand on his pale cheek.

"•Masaka," She whispered. "I'm sorry for being so horrible to you. I know I'm a horrible mother and that you probably hate me but I can never hate you. You are my flesh and blood, my legacy and I will always be proud of you no matter what comes out my mouth. Every time I talk to you all I can think of is your Manifest Destiny and what you did to me and my people. I understand now that no one is perfect and that we all have our mistakes and faults. You were young and you still are, everyone is allowed to make their mistakes. Mine was the verbal and sometimes physical abuse I inflicted on you when you were nothing but a mere babe. I don't know why I did it but I regret it. I know I left a permanent scar on your heart which I know can never fully heal but I'm sure your new family can help heal a lot. What I want to say is that I'm sorry *Masaka and I love you."

"Mother?" Alfred called weakly.

Native America gasped. "How much did you hear pale- Alfred?"

"Most of it." Alfred admitted. "Did you really mean it?"

Native America bit her lip as an insult was her immediate answer to talking to Alfred. As she looked down at his thin face and wide blue eyes she knew deep down that in fact that everything she said was true.

"Yes its true my *mukki. You are my *ciqala and I really do care for you," Native America confessed. "Now rest *ashkii dighin I promise when you awaken I'll be there. I am proud of your *shilah as well."

"Okay *shima." Alfred whispered as he closed his eyes.

"Sleep well my son," Native America said as she began to sing a lullaby sweetly and softly to her son.

"Ho, ho what tay nay

Ho, ho what tay nay

Ho, ho what tay nay

Key oh kay nah

Key oh kay nah

Ho, ho what tay nay

Ho, ho what tay nay

Ho, ho what tay nay

Key oh kay nah

Key oh kay nah

Oh, oh little one

Oh, oh little one

Oh, oh little one

Now go to sleep

Now go to sleep."

Brittania tackled her youngest son sending him to the floor and putting his head dangerously close to the hole.

"Mother!" Arthur shrieked. "Please give me some warning next time."

"I missed you so much," Brittania said bursting into tears. "I missed my baby so much."

"I missed you to Mother," Arthur said his eyes suspiciously bright. "The floor is filthy."

"Sorry." Brittania apologized as she got off her son. The British gentlemen got up from the floor slowly.

The ginger haired woman wrapped her arms around her shorter son's waist.

"Dad?" Matthew asked.

"Uh, who are you?" Arthur asked.

"Mathieu is your son." Francis replied his eyes narrowed.

"Sorry lad I didn't mean it." Arthur said blushing from his mother's intense glare. "What would you like?"

"Would you like a hug too?" Brittania smiled.

Matthew nodded. The green eyed woman unlatched herself from around her son and wrapped them around her grandson.

"You're so cold." Brittania shivered.

"My nation is registered as the third coldest in the world." Matthew explained.

"As long as you aren't sick." Brittania smiled.

The day was spent full of tears and laughter. Brittania enjoyed every bit of time she could spend with her son, son's possible boyfriend and grandson. Every time Matthew tried to retreat into his shell, mostly from an offhanded comment from Arthur Francis and Brittania would be there to drag him back out.

Native America looked over her youngest son as he went through a fitfull sleep. The overuse of his newly awakened powers had placed a heavy strain upon him mentally and physically. Not to mention that his reunion with his mother had awakened some long forgotten instincts. Native America sat by her son's side running her delicate hands through his thick, blonde hair.

The Italies sat with their grandfather on a couch doing a lot of crying and remembering.

Japan spent the day hiding away locked in his room reading and writing some very nose bleed worthy material. Occasionally, he would stop by the room where America and a mysterious dark haired woman were. America may not really be Japan's friend as the smaller country did not think that their personalities were compatible enough but it would be rude to not stop by when someone is sick. Besides their common love of anime, magma and cosplaying they really did have nothing in common.

China lay in his bed feeling tired as be bad stayed up almost all night completing paperwork. More than anything he wished that he could hear Japan telling him that he loved him one more time.

"I wish they would accept me for what I am today and wouldn't reject me for the monster that I was in the last," Russia thought sadly. "I try so sad to smile and be nice but still they are all frightened of me except for the stupid Alfredka. Maybe stupidity equals bravery for Americans?"

Germany on the other hand was secretly following the Italian brothers to make sure nothing happened to Feliciano. He would never admit it but he enjoyed the company of the shorter man.

"Arthur," Brittania smiled sadly as her body began flickering. "I'm afraid that I must leave you now. My time on this plane of existence is ending."

"No Mother you can't go," Arthur pleaded. "I still need you."

"I'm sorry Arthur but God gave us a limited amount of time to stay. I love you Arthur, Matthew and Francis please take good care of everyone.

"Of course Madam," Francis nodded. "I will take care of Arthur for as long as he will let me and Mathieu will always be my top priority."

"What about Alfred, Papa?" Matthew asked about his younger twin.

"Oh of course I will check up on Amerique." Francis said smiling tightly.

"How could I forget about Alfred," Francis thought ashamed. "I am no better that Arthur. America may not be my favorite child but that doesn't mean that I have any right to forget about my child. Am I as bad a father as England?"

Brittania smiled as she read France's thoughts. "He's finally starting to understand and drag his thoughts in the right direction."

"Goodbye I love you." Brittania whispered as a body began flickering before like a candle's flame it winked out of sight completely.

"MOTHER!" Arthur screamed as his body began shaking. "Don't leave me again."

"She is gone *Angleterre." Francis said as he tried to console the weeping nation.

"Shut up Frog!" England said as he stomped away to find someone else to release his anger and sorrow upon.

"Mattie are you okay?" Francis asked as he embraced his bright eyed son.

"I'll miss her," Matthew responded. "I've never had a grandmother before and it felt nice. I think I'll go to bed now Papa."

"Bonsoir mon fils," Francis said. "I think I shall go look for Angleterre now to make sure he doesn't get unto any trouble without me."

Matthew nodded to his father tiredly before exiting the room and heading in the direction of his bedroom. Francis also exited and went in the next direction in search of his angry neighbor.

"Feliciano, Romano I'm afraid that my time to be with you is running shorter. God is calling us to leave." The Roman Empire said sadly.

"No don't go. Please don't leave me alone again." Feliciano pleaded.

"Yeah basta- *nonno you can't leave again." Romano added.

"I'm sorry," He smiled as his body began flickering. "Remember that you have each other. I'll always be watching over you."

Rome's body completely disappeared leaving a completely and utterly distraught younger Italian and an older brother who had no idea how to comfort his younger brother. It had been so long since he had been alone with his younger brother and had to be the one to shower him with affection.

"Hug therapy?" Romano asked weakly as he opened his arms.

A sobbing Feliciano flung himself into his brother's arms where Romano embraced for once not feeling like a complete and utter failure of a brother.

"Goodbye Alfred," Native America whispered as she caressed her son's cheek ignoring his subtle flinches and obvious discomfort at being touched by her. "I'll be watching over you."

Just like Brittania Native America's body began flickering similar to a dying candle although her leaving was much quicker as Alfred had not used his powers on her.

"...Goodbye Mother." Alfred said before he closed his eyes and tried to reenter the land of sleep. He was forcing himself not to have a mental breakdown at the reunion of his abusive mother. Alfred mentally forced himself to not remember all the traumatic events that his childhood consisted of.

"ALFRED!" A voice shouted as it slammed the door open shocking Alfred out of his slumber. "What's wrong with you, you arsehole."

"Arthur what are you talking about?" Alfred asked confused, he certainly can't remember if he did something to Arthur. He really did not need this on top of everything, there was only so much his fragile mind could handle before collapsing completely.

"You ruined my life you manky prat. Its because if you my empire fell and that my country is no longer great. You're a disgrace and a mistake and I wish that all those years ago I never met you. You would have been better off staying my sweet little colony but instead you wanted to run off like a bloody prick and make a mess of the world by being an idiotic, unintelligent moron. Everyone knows that you got lucky in the World Wars and the Cold War. You try to prove to the world that you're all grown up but you're still as much as a brat as when you decided to become independent. The world hates you! Why can't you get that through your oversized ego already?"

"Arthur-" Alfred tried to interrupt only to be slapped so hard across his face that it left a red hand shaped mark on his pale face.

"Shut up you got I'm talking now so you better listen. Your ideas are rubbish and you always manage to make everything worse. You should have stayed out of Korea and Vietnam but you wanted to be a hero and interfere and look what it caused. I hope you know that all those unnecessary deaths are on your hands. You think that every time someone has a little quibble its your right to jump in but you're no hero, you're a pest. You should have learned by now that there are no real heroes and even if there were you certainly wouldn't be one. You're nothing but a self centred moron and you need to get off your high horse and face reality. No one likes you, not your twin, not the frog and not even Italy and heaven know he likes everyone. You had one friend and then you decided to bomb him, you deserve to be alone and unloved. I hate you!" Arthur spat, his breath reeking of alcohol as he stomped out of the room.

Alfred sat wide eyed on the small bed trembling from the aftershock. He moved to the corner of the bed where he pulled his knees to his chest and began sobbing. Hundreds of years of pain, anger, self hatred and a mirad of other negative emotions poured into his salty tears. Eventually though his already exhausted body began to tire and he passed out from exhaustion.

"Where could *Angleterre be?" Francis wondered as he walked up and down the familiar hallways. He began walking, maybe spirinting a little when he saw a quarter finished bottle of *Snake Venom beer.

"How is it that Arthur makes one of the world's strongest beers but yet he can't hold his alcohol." Francis thought.

Francis stopped in front of a half open door and poked his head in. America lay on the bed breathing irregularly with dried tears on his face. Due to the poor lighting however France didn't see Alfred's pain filled face.

"America looks so peaceful and is a lot less irritating when he is asleep," France thought as he closed the door fully. "He is always so loud."

France continued in his investigation as to the whereabouts of England. He searched the nearby toilets, spare bedrooms and even the balconies. Eventually, after more than one hour of searching he located England's passes out body draped over the back of a small sofa in the library.

France steeped back for a moment to admire the curve of England's butt before he stepped forward and removed England from the couch and into his hands.

"Let's go *mon lapin," France said quietly. "Next time invite me so we can get drunk together. Ohonhonohon."

The personification of France carried the personification of England and North Ireland out of the library and to his bedroom. France placed England on the union jack themed bed and left going to his own room to get some sleep.

One by one the nations of the G8 plus Canada and Romano fell asleep. Some like France, Japan and Canada fell into peaceful sleeps while others like Italy and America descended into the now familiar land of nightmares and night terrors.

Far above them the ancients and last personifications of the world looked down at their sleeping family. Native America, Brittania, the Roman Empire and a number of other less important nations who have nothing to do with the plot sat gathered around an infinitely long table that managed to somehow contain all of them. Unlike their earth bound counterparts they were actually being semi-productive.

"Do you think it will work?" A random fallen nation asked.

"It has to, if it doesn't I fear world war three is on the rise and that a few minds shall snap. Although if Native America hadn't been such a bitch and a horrible mother then we probably wouldn't be stuck in this mess." Brittania added snidely.

"I was a good mother to my children." Native America replied with her brown eyes narrowed.

"If you were a good mother then you wouldn't have hit and practically tortured your own child who was nothing but a baby for a few mistakes that every child makes. You wouldn't have verbally abused him and crushed his heart every time he talked to you. You brainwashed him into loving you, it wasn't until the Italian washed up unto the shores of an island in the Bahamas and the Europeans arrived did he start to think a little differently. Did you ever feel a little bit of remorse when he told you that he loved you after you let your natives have your way with him? You took away his innocence of the world before he learned to even walk properly. You're a heartless monster and you disgust me." Brittania spat before she walked out the open door.

"Mother is this true?" The low voice of the Mayan empire asked. "Was that how our little brother really treated like that? I know that we each have our own initiation rituals but when Mexico was in my care I never treated him so harshly."

The voice of his brothers chimed in agreement. They each had their time to take care of Mexico. They may not have approved of how their mother divided their three youngest siblings especially the twins but they always thought that Native America had treated America right. But they would always secretly question their mother's decision to have their northernmost brother being raised by an ice spirit.

"Do not believe a thing that the *bilagaana says my children," Native America responded as she smoothed out her skirt purposefully not meeting the eyes of any if her children. "I would never abuse my own flesh and blood in the ways that she described."

The brothers exchanged glances amount themselves determined to come to the truth.

*Word Glossary*

Gomen'nasai (Japanese)- I'm Sorry

Aniki (Japanese)- Elder Brother

xiǎo xiōngdì -

petite Amérique (French) - My Small America

mon fils (French) - my son

Nonno (Italian) - Grandfather

nipoti (Italian) - Grandchildren

nepotibus meis (Latin) - Grandchildren

mukki (Algonquin) - Child

ciqala (Dakota) - Little One

ashkii dighin (Navajo) - Sacred Child

shilah (Navajo) - Brother

shima - Mother (Navajo)

Angleterre (French) - England

mon lapin (French) - my rabbit

bilagaana (Navajo) -White Person

Historical References

Japan left China - On3rd May 1947 Japan gained its independence from China.

Manifest Destinyis a term for the attitude prevalent during the 19th century period of American expansion that the United States not only could, but was destined to, stretch from coast to coast. This attitude helped fuel western settlement, Native American removal and war with Mexico.

•Fandom References•

"Please remember Germany, please remember being Holy Rome. " - Germany is the reincarnation of the Holy Roman Empire.

Nanuq - It is said that Nanuq is the true name of Mr. Kumajirou and that he is an ice spirit.

Kanata - Canada's native american name.

Masaka - America's native american name.

Author's Note

Hey everyone this is my first Hetalia fan fiction but my third fan fiction. My other two are Fem! Percy Jackson stories so if you're into the fandom please check it out. I would like to have an update schedule eventually but my exams start soon. I didn't mean to post this yet but I got impatient. Also I needed to get this idea out of my head so that I could begin studying. This story was inspired by HetaliaRules111. She (he?) wrote an absolutely beautiful story called "What's On The Inside Matters." My diary entries shall be based on some headcannons, my interpretation of some pictures and that dark part of my mind that probably needs some serious help. At some point Prussia and Spain might join but I'm not sure yet. This is my first time writng with so many characters and i don't want to overwhelm myself. My current word count including my author's note is 5411 words.


	3. Chapter 2

**Hey every one there are a few things that you need to know to understand this chapter. Firstly, France and Canada have a pretty tight father -son bond going on even if France occasionally forgets about Canada. Secondly, Canada is usually only seen by Alfred and Francis with England rarely remembering him without a little help. Thirdly, Matthew is the older twin and takes on the role of overprotective big brother. And last but not least take note of when I say 'Alfred' and when I say 'America.'**

"Bon jour ma petite Mathieu how did you sleep?" Francis asked as he rolled a cart full of breakfast food into the nearly empty meeting room.

"I'm fine papa," Matthew responded. "It's just that Alfred doesn't seem like himself yesterday. It was like I was being introduced to a completely new person yesterday. This morning when I woke up he was still sleeping, that isn't really uncommon but I think he might have been crying. When I came closer he stopped and I didn't really have the heart to turn on the light and disturb him if he was really sleeping."

"Do not fret Mathieu he's just still tired from yesterday. I'm sure he'll be alright, he's very resilient. " Francis said comforting his son. "I made you pancakes."

"Thanks papa." Matthew responded as he placed a few pancakes on his plate trying push any thought of Alfred out of his mind.

"Papa? Why did the Ancients return? I'm not complaining I was just wondering." Matthew said.

Francis whirled around shocked (but still looking fabulous) as he had evidently not thought about it.

"I do not know Mathieu. I assume that they had a reason though. Maybe it will be revealed to us in time."

"Okay Papa." Matthew smiled as he continued savoring France's delicious (although Matthew's are still better) pancakes.

"*Zǎoshang hǎo France, aru." China greeted as he entered the room completely overlooking the blond Canadian.

"*Bon jour China. Pancakes?" Francis questioned as he held out a plate of hot, syrup topped pancakes.

"*Xièxiè France," China nodded as he accepted the plate. "These remind me of *jiu cai bing except I usually top mine with hot sour sauce."

In the background having been forgotten by France and ignored by China, Canada gasped in shock. "That monster! How dare he treat those beautiful pancakes like that."

Slowly the other nations began piling into the meeting room. The Japanese personification came in first, bowed as a greeting and proceeded to enjoy France's pancakes and bacon. The Russian came in next smiling eerily but none the less accepted France's frightened offer of pancakes. Germany arrived afterwards as punctual as always with a cheerful Italian on his arm and another who was behind him insulting his every action. With two calls of thank you, one in German and the other in Italian, and the last thank you being hidden in a curse from the older Italian the three began eating pancakes and bacon.

"Shall we begin this meeting?" Germany asked. "Wait were are America and England?"

"The American pig is probably sleeping, da." Russia said.

"Japan please go retrieve America and France find England." Germany ordered.

"Ohonohono," France smirked. "I'll be sure to wake *Angleterre up."

"Why didn't he send me to look for my brother, eh?" Canada wondered. "Well its not like he knew that I was there. I don't understand why I'm so invisible. Is it because I'm too nice and polite? No it can't be that cause Japan is even more polite than I am. I'm one of the largest countries in the world and yet sometimes it feels like I'm nothing more than a speck of dust. Why am I so invisible?"

The small island nation quietly got up to retrieve his hamburger obsessed friend while the other went to grope the hopefully asleep England awake.

"America -san are you awake?" Kiku questioned as he knocked on the door. The country got no reply except for a small sniffle and a choked sob from the other side.

"America -san are you okay? Japan asked. " I don't mean to disturb you America -san but Ludwig -san requested that you attend the meeting." Japan continued as he stood on the door.

A surprisingly soft call of "I'll be out in five" passed through the wooden door.

"Is America -san sick?" Japan wondered as he waited patiently outside. "He did not say hero once and he was so quiet. I've never heard him be as quiet as that."

The door opened and America stepped out dressed in a typical outfit for him. He had put on a tan jacket and pants, with a white dress shirt and brown tie worn underneath. America was also wearing his brown bomber jacket and black shoes.

"Are you okay America -san?" Japan asked alarmed. He can only remember a few times when America was this quiet, usually only during war. The blonde nation's head was bent and he was clutching his jacket tightly.

"I'm fine Keeks just a little tired from yesterday, even heroes need to take a break sometimes. Like when •Ichigo took a break after he lost his powers. But since I'm the best hero ever I won't need such a long break. HAHAHAHAHAHA!" America laughed.

"I'm sure something is wrong with America -san. I am not sure but something in his aura feels strange. And he has still not raised his head. Now for most people that wouldn't be strange but America -san has always exhibited such a confident, almost arrogant aura." Japan pondered as he politely nodded at the right intervals to America's babbling. "America's rambling can be annoying but it is a little cute the way that he gets so excited about something like Pochi gets when I present him with a bone for good behavior. "

"Keeks?" Alfred questioned as he began to play with the hem of his shirt. "Do you think that I'm annoying?"

The American personification finally lifted his head, letting his golden locks fall away to reveal childish, wide, red rimmed, ice blue eyes.

"No America -san," Japan said lying through a smile. "I do not think that you are annoying America -san. You are just a little excitable but that isn't necessarily a bad thing America -san."

"Then why does everyone always hate on my ideas?" Alfred asked.

"Not everyone has reached your innovative lesson of thinking yet America -san. I can give you one example of when you and Russia - san wanted to reach space and the other nations told you that it was impossible that didn't stop you and you eventually succeeded. Do not be ashamed of your intelligence." Japan concluded to a now visibly happier Alfred.

"His eyes are now a slightly darker sky blue as compared to the previous icey blue color with silvery flecks. Do his eyes normally change colors. This is extremely abnormal behavior for America -san. I did not want to lie to America -san but it would be very rude to tell him the truth of what I thought about him." Japan thought.

"Thanks dude!" America said smiling happily as he flung open the meeting room door. "Hey everyone! The hero's here. HAHAHAHA!"

"*Ja, ja just sit down," Germany said as he rubbed his temples. "Now where is Englan-".

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME YOU BLOODY FROG!" A voice, presumably England screams.

"Never mind." Germany said as his cheeks became slightly tinted with a pink color.

"Ohonohonhon. " Came the reply of a satisfied French pervert.

An angry England stomped into the room followed by a happy France. Japan who had been watching America for any other sides of something being wrong was only just quick enough to observe America flinching at the sound of England's voice.

"He's gonna be just like Mother was," America realized. "He's going to hurt me just like she did. But I'm stronger now and I can easily overpower him. But I just don't wanna get hurt again. I don't want to be alone again. Is it so wrong to just want to be loved?"

Unaware of his brother's internal panic and worry Canada handed his younger twin a plate piled much higher than everyone else's filled with bacon and pancakes with a large cup of coffee on the side.

"No thank you Mattie I'm not very hungry." America said absent mindedly as he accepted only the coffee.

Everyone else in the room froze before turning to look at America in shock. The fight between Francis and England was forgotten, Italy almost forgot to ask for pasta, Romano's jaw dropped temporarily stopping him from spewing insults out to Germany and everyone else stopped eating in favour of staring at America.

"Ve~ is Mr. America sick Germany?" Italy asked confused.

"Maybe he finally decided to lose some weight, da?" Russia questioned trying to bait his opponent into a fight, only to be completely ignored.

"I... I've never heard *Amerique say that he wasn't hungry before." France gasped.

"The fat git probably wants to lose a few pounds and can you blame him?" England questioned. "If I was as fat as he was I'd be likely to skip a few meals to."

"Aren't you worried for your little colony and son?" Francis inquired to an outwardly nonchalant England.

"Of course I am you git." England snarled mentally much like angry lioness.

"Of course I'm not worried," Arthur replied. "He's not my colony Frog in case you forgot the entire revolution and 1812."

"Alfie are you okay?" Matthew asked worried kicking into overprotective, older brother mode.

"I'm fine," America responded ever oblivious. "The hero's always fine. Don't know why you're worrying bro."

"But you're always hungry, unless you're sick! You're not sick are you? Maple! Did your economy crash again? Are you going through another recession? Is it elections? Is it another natural disaster? " Matthew fretted.

"Nah I'm fine dude," America said waving off his brother's concern. "Don't be such a worrywart Mattie the hero can take care of himself."

Matthew narrowed his eyes clearly a nonbeliever but decided to drop it in favour of continuing the meeting, that doesn't mean that he can't bring it up later. The Canadian picked up the still full plate and returned to the kitchen only to return with a refilled cup of Espresso for his caffeine addicted brother.

"Thanks big bro." America smiled softly as he accepted the hot drink.

"...Okay let us begin this meeting." Germany said shaking himself out of his shock induced stupor. "First order of business is-"

A bright, silvery ball of light appeared over the the meeting table causing everyone to block their eyes, when it disappeared it left a very large, leather book in its place.

"Ve~ what's that?" Italty asked as he put away his white flag.

"Its a book, duh." America declared although he secretly itched to grab the book and read it for himself.

"I think that is obvious American pig," Russia responded. "I'm actually surprised that you know what a book is considering you don't use it."

"There is a letter in the book, aru." China interrupted. "It says

 **Dear G10,**

 **We the former nations of the world have never stopped watching over you our ancestors. We have noticed that too many of you are suffering in silence afraid to seek help. We love you and can't stand to see you suffering any longer. We fear that if we let this continue some masks will shatter and leave the people beneath irreversibly broken and damaged. Maybe it is that you fear revealing the real you underneath, maybe you just fear hate but in the end you are still harming yourselves. In the book we have compiled a list of diary entries and other statements about you. Please remember that we are not doing this because we hate you but rather because we love you.**

 **Lovingly Yours,**

 **The Roman Empire, Brittania and Native America.**

The nations most affected by the letter began reacting differently, Italy began crying, Canada's face blanked out, Romano quieted down and America began trembling ever so slightly.

"I think I shall continue reading, aru. Is that alright with everyone?" China asked.

"Yes, continue *s'il vous plaît China," Francis responded with his eyes on his children and brother.

 **The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the brightest. All because they don't wish to see anyone else suffer the way they did.**

The nations who were generally associated with those traits received glances from their concerned friends and family members in the room.

Romano is terrified of thunderstorms and earthquakes. During them he begins trembling, crying and clinging to Antonio, Feliciano or Gilbert. They're the only three that calm him down and the only ones who know of Romano's fear.

"That's not true *libro bastardo," Romano cursed.

"Ve~ that's not true big brother. There was one last week and you very sad but all you needed was some hug therapy!" Italy declared.

"It's not wrong to need a little help sometimes." Francis stated.

"Tsh, whatever you say bastard." Romano muttered.

 **Japan's mind is an enigma. No one knows exactly what goes on in that head and Kiku doesn't let on to the fact that he may be a little kinkier than some might have guessed. He is not and has never been 'innocent.'**

"Oh." Japan blushed.

"Ohonohonohon." France giggled perversly. "Maybe we can get kinky together."

"Bloody pervert." England spat.

"I could have told you that, aru! I raised him." interjected China. "I shall continue.

 **Dear Diary,**

 **I do believe in magic just not Daddy's kind, that is something only a few know. I am actually quite skilled in the art of voodoo and Native American witchcraft. I prefer using voodoo as Native American witchcraft reminds me of Mother and the ways she used it. I wish that he'd stop trying to force his magic on me.**

 **America**

"YOU CAN DO MAGIC! AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU GIT!" England shouted.

"You told me to forget everything that the savages taught me and that included my magic so I hid it. And New Orleans was colonized by Francis so I thought you'd be mad." America glared at the British personification.

"You still could've told me, prat." England snapped.

"I'm sorry I oppressed your nature lad," England thought. "This must be a very old entry, he called me Daddy. It's been a very long time since Alfred called me Daddy and has seen me as a fatherly figure. I miss those times."

"Are you okay Al?" Canada whispered. "You seem really tense."

America smiled, one of plastic, to his concerned older brother in fake reassurance.

"Would you mind showing me some of your magic tomorrow lad? I would would like to see how it compares to my Celtic magic." England stated.

"Ve~ can I watch?" Italy asked.

"Uh sure." America replied. He had never used his magic the presence of another nation except Canada.

"May I watch as well America -san?" Japan questioned.

"I won't stop anyone from watching." America shrugged. "After all the hero will never turn away his adoring fans. HAHAHA."

After the war, Yao raised several children who had lost their parents in the chaos as his own. It didn't matter if they came from an enemy nation or not, he just like kids that much.

"That was very nice of you China." Germany commented.

"It felt nice to not be alone, after everyone left the house was so cold and empty, aru." China said finishing with a nostalgic smile. "May someone else read? I am getting a little tired."

"My house is also cold and empty but no one will ever want to leave with me, da." Russia thought sadly. "They are two afraid of me."

"I'll read," Canada volunteered only to be heard by no one aside from France and America.

"I shall read," Germany volunteered as he tried to pry Italy from his arm. "Please pass me the book."

 **Francis sends roses to every country on their birthday. He does it anonymously so the roses are not rejected by countries that hate him.**

"Ve~ Big Brother France you're so nice." Italy beamed.

"Yeah thanks pervert." Romano insulted underneath a compliment.

Russia silently smiled happy at being included. He had gotten a rose on June 12th, one of only a few gifts he received. Ivan's other gifts had been from his sisters, (a wedding band from Belarus and an old photograph from Ukraine) a mug that said 'Damn I make 800 look good' from America and the rose.

"I guess you can be nice frog." England choked out.

"Thanks Papa." Matthew whispered.

"Yeah, thanks Francis." America smiled. "That was totally heroic of you."

"*Arigatou gozaimasu France -san." Japan spoke up from where he had been rather quiet.

"*Xièxiè." China murmured, his voice still a bit sore.

"*Danke." Germany said. "Now if we are all done may I continue?"

"Everyone needs a little love." France smiled feeling proud of his actions.

 **Dear Diary**

 **Today Alfred took me to Disneyland and was really eager to show me something. He built a park devoted to several nations around the world. And Canada was there. It was one of the first ones there actually. I was so touched. He actually remembered me! I'm so proud to be his big brother even if I usually get lost in his shadow.**

 **Canada**

"Who's Canada, aru?" China questioned.

"He's the bigger land mass right above me," Alfred explained annoyed at having to go through the same process so many times. "We kind of look alike and he's my older twin brother."

"Mattie's proud of me? But why?" Alfred pondered. "If anything I should be grateful that he actually chooses to recognize me as his twin. If I was in his shoes I would have disowned myself a long time ago and I wouldn't even blame him. Canada deserves so much better than I can offer."

"...hey." Canada waved dejectedly.

"Sorry for forgetting about you again lad." England apologized.

"You're such a bad father Opium, aru. What kind of father forgets his own child?" China questioned.

"SHUT IT YOU BLOODY ARSEHOLE!" England screamed.

"*Mon ami you must save your voice for the bedroom," Francis flirted. "You know I like to hear your screams. Ohonohonohono."

England shoved the French man off him and stomped over to stand near the door.

"Ve~ you have a brother America?" Italy asked. "Does he like pasta?"

"I do but pancakes are better." Matthew smiled.

"Ve~ let's have pasta together. Germany, can we have pasta?" Italy wondered.

"Be quiet and I'll consider it." Germany spoke.

"Ve~ pasta!" Italy cheered.

 **Dear Diary**

 **Today my ship once again settled in the now familiar Virginia port. I took a horse to the house that I built for my cute, little colony and once again the house was empty. It look me a few days to find him, America had decided to take dwelling with a pack of blood thirsty wolves. It looked like he had been living there for the past seven years that I had been gone, he's clothes were different and he was relatively clean. Alfred looked remarkably like one of those savages, I swear his skin and hair were darker. Why does America refuse to stay in the beautiful house that I built for him and instead seeks a home in the forest with the animals?**

 **England**

"SEVEN YEARS AIYAH!" China screeched. "You left a child, a baby alone for seven years. No wonder America is is immature, aru."

"Tsh, no wonder the burger bastard is so messed up." Romano commented.

"You lived with animals America -san?" Japan questioned.

"Yeah," Alfred blushed, slightly embarrassed. "It got lonely by myself and the animals are always nice to me. Chibiabos and his pack have always been kind to me so I appreciate if you did not insult them. And also the locals were getting suspicious of witchcraft because I didn't age. As for my skin getting darker I was simply calling upon more of my so called savage survival genes."

"The damned wolf had a name?" England inquired as he continued to lock glares with China.

"Don't insult Chibiabos," Alfred hissed. "He was there more for me then you ever were."

"He is still just an animal." Arthur replied slightly disturbed by America's apparent affection towards a long dead wolf.

Before Alfred could reply, Canada interjected actually raising his voice at England. "Chibiabos is one of our Native American legends and he or Manabozho usually took care of Alfie when you were gone."

"Thanks bro," America smiled, temper abated. "Hey Germany can we have a break now?"

"Ve~ Germany I want pasta." Italy begged.

"*Ja ja! I believe we were due for a break anyways." Germany agreed.

Canada grabbed onto the arm of his still slightly melancholy twin and dragged him out of the meeting room and into his bedroom.

"What's up bro?" America smiled.

"Does he really think that I can't tell that his smile is as fake as England's hatred for Papa?" Canada thought.

"Al I know you and I know that something is not alright with you. You know that you can tell me anything right? I promise that I'll always be there for you. You're my little brother and I just want too take care of you. I want to make sure that you are happy and healthy." Matthew said. "Could you tell me about Native America? From your reaction to her I guess that she wasn't the best but how bad was she? Did she ever hit you?"

"What are you talking about Mattie?" America smiled feigning innocence. I had an awesome childhood!"

Thankfully for Alfred he had the power of the Golden State and the experience of thousands of actors and actresses on his side. His thousand megawatt smile and childish, innocent looking features were enough to convince anyone to believe what he wanted. Alfred could be one of the best manipulators when he chose too.

"Okay bro, eh," Matthew grinned looking relieved. "Now let's go back to the meeting room. I sure someone has cooked something for lunch by now."

Alfred bite his lip feeling nauseated at the thought of food but none the less followed his brother out of the room and back towards the meeting room. The North American twins left the room with Alfred yapping away to his brother about anything he could think of.

China and Italy rolled various carts into the meeting room. Italy rolled a large bowl of bowl of pasta with a smaller bowl filled with meatballs while China rolled one filled with fried rice, chow mein and mixed vegetables.

"I made lunch, aru. If you ever want more you can build more Chinatowns." China urged.

Alfred remained sitting silently sitting not wanting to go to eat. Canada being the loving brother that he is made sure to retrieve two bowls, with one being piled dangerously high.

"Here you go baby brother." Canada smiled.

"Thanks." Alfred whispered feeling disgusted at the thought of having to eat so much. Alfred took a deep breath before he began shoveling food down his throat wanting to get it over with.

"Must you be such a pig America?" England sneered.

"*Mon ami are you sure you should eat all that? After all being, uh, overweight is very attractive." France explained.

"Greedy, American, pig." Russia said smiling creepily.

"Stupid, commie bastard." America responded with his mouth full.

"*Kolkolkolkol." Russia warned.

With one last, loud slurp America gave a final glare to Russia before he exited the room to do who knows what leaving his brother alone.

"Stupid, fat, ugly, useless, waste of space, weird, unloved, ignorant, oblivious, dim, daft, moron, idiot, brainless git, burger -loving freak, hero -obsessed jerk, arrogant jerk, fatass, and a fucking hamburger bastard." Alfred thought as he mentally berated himself as he ran to the bathroom. "I wish I could make my family proud. Do I even have a family? France thinks I'm some idiotic whale and only tolerates me cause of Mattie, I just drag Canada down and England hates me. My supposed to be Father hates me, I'm such a waste of time. Something must obviously be very wrong with me because even Mother didn't like me. I wish I wasn't ever born. But I'm trying to be better."

The young nation entered a different bathroom, locked it and opened a stall. He knelt in front of the toilet and shoved a finger down his throat. Alfred upchucked everything and emptied his stomach of its contents.

"I want to be better." Alfred wished as he stood up and brushed his teeth using the toothbrush that he had stored in one of his jacket's near infinite number of pockets.

Alfred plastered on his smile becoming America once again as he jogged back to the meeting room.

"Go to stuff some more of your nasty burgers down your throat comrade?" Russia sneered.

"Nah," America laughed. "But I knew if I stayed any longer I'd end up punching you right in your oversized nose."

"Kolkolkolkol." Russia warned.

The other nations leaned closer always eager at the prospect of a fight much like young children at a highschool. Germany slammed his hands onto the desk eager to resolve the conflict before it even started.

"WE ARE HERE FOR A REASON!" Germany shouted. "THE FORMER NATIONS OF THE WORD HAVE FOUND IT NECESSARY TO READ THIS BOOK SO BE QUIET AND LISTEN TO THEIR WISHES."

"I shall read this time." England requested.

 **Dear Diary,**

 **I wish people would atop judging by my sovereign days. Don't they get it? I suffered as well. Those were my bosses decisions not mine. I am called a monster, a freak. They seem to forget that I have feelings and do have a heart no matter how frozen it may be. It is hard being alone without friends and distances from family. Someone once said that it is better to be feared than to be loved but that is very untrue. I would choose love over fear any day.**

 **Russia**

"*Niccolo Machiavelli," Alfred replied. Upon receiving confused looks he continued. "It's his quote from his book the Prince in chapter seventeen. He's one of yours Feliciano."

"How would you know?" England asked curiously.

"My boss was reading it and he mentioned the quote to me. I guess it just kinda stuck." Alfred shrugged. "And I don't fear you Russia, I could never fear a commie bastard like you!"

Russia smiled, for once not creepily as he got up to hug his American counterpart who melted into his hands enjoying the rare feeling of being needed for something other than his bank account and arsenal. There was nothing truly romantic about it, merely two lonely people seeking comfort in each other's arms for less than a minute.

The silence was broken by a certain Japanese snapping pictures which he immediately emailed to Hungary.

"RusAme," Japan thought as he covered his nose with a tissue to try to avert the incoming nosebleed. "Yaoi. Russia -san would be a dominating and possessive top and America -san would be his not so submissive and oblivious bottom. America -san is very appealing to the eyes, I wouldn't mind having him for myself but it is better to let that ship sail. I wonder who is better endowed?"

The Russian let go and glared at his nation counterparts daring them to comment negatively.

"Shall we continue we the reading?" Alfred questioned still revelling in the warmth from the hug. "May I read?"

"*Ja, ja." Germany agreed as he passed the book to Alfred.

 **Dear Diary,**

 **It's happened for the fifth time already; I bid the soldiers in the dug out goodnight, then come back the next day and found them dead or missing. No one seems to know what's happening and it's scaring the nations that are left. But now I know. There was a message left in the dugout this time: "North America was here." It seems that there must be something in the air on the other side. Perhaps it is the might of the British Empire affecting them differently?**

 **Germany**

"Nah. North America is just awesome like that," America said as he slung a hand over his brother's shoulder. "It has nothing to do with Iggy. A stuffy old man like him could never help create this brand of awesomeness."

"You fucking idiot," England spat fed up, he had been groped awake, forced to eat nasty French food for breakfast, had to listen to America's irritating voice discredit his amazing pirate days not to mention he woke up with a killer headache. "I was one of the greatest pirates who ever lived! I conquered the seven seas and defended my country several times. What have you ever done besides sitting on your fat arse shoving hose nasty, heart attacks you call burgers down your throat. I'm sick and tired of you. Sometimes I wonder why you're still around, its obvious that no one wants you there."

"*Mon lapin don't you think that you are being a little mean-spirited?" France questioned as he remembered his promise to Brittania to take care of the young, blonde twins. "He is after all but a boy, *non? He has not experienced what we have gone through. There is no need to be so hard hearted."

"HAHAHAHAHA!" America laughed.

"Its not like what Iggy says is important. He's just being cranky cause he hasn't drank any of his nasty tea yet."

England bite his lip as he knew that if he responded it would be going way to far. He was already regretting what he had said to America, he was just looking for an outlet to release his anger upon.

"We shall adjorn this meeting until tomorrow." Germany interrupted destroying the silence.

By this time several hours had already elapsed and day was giving way to the magnificence of night.

"Hey Mattie, Keeks wanna play some video games in my room?" America asked as he bounced on the sole of his feet, full of energy.

"I'm sorry America -San but there is some urgent paler work that I must attend to." Japan apologized with a bow.

"I'm sorry Al but I promised Papa that I would spend some time to catch up with him. You understand right." Canada questioned.

"Yeah it's fine dudes," America replied. "Just gives me more time to improve my already heroic skills."

"I guess I can't really blame them for not wanting to hang out with me. Mattie deserves to enjoy some quality time with Francis. Does he really feel lost in my shadow?" Alfred wondered. "He really and truly has no reason to. I'm nothing but an egotistical jerk, even Mattie told me so and he's almost always right. I don't know how to make it up to him. I wonder if this means that all my secrets will be exposed with the whole diary reading venture that we are currently participating in. I hope Mattie won't become any more ashamed of me than he probably already is?"

Canada gave America a soft smile before he walked off to join his parent figure. The American nation continued smiling, with each hairline thin crack on his mask deepening second by second as he continued to fool everyone around him about almost everything about him. Do you really think that anybody could think that highly of themselves? In fact in is the opposite, Alfred's self esteem was dangerously low to begin with and the bar just kept falling. I wonder what will happens when it lands at the bottom, don't you?

 ***Word Glossary***

Zǎoshang hǎo (Chinese) - Good Morning

Bon jour (French) - Hello

jiu cai bing (Chinese) - A Chinese flatbread similar to the scallion pancake may be made with garlic chives instead of scallion

Angleterre (French) - England

Ja (German) - Yes

Amerique (French) -America

s'il vous plaît (French) - Please

libro bastardo (Italian) - Bastard Book

Arigatou gozaimasu (Japanese) - Thank You

Danke (German) - Thank You

Mon ami (French) - My Friend

Mon lapin (French) - My Rabbit

Non (French) - No

 **Historical References**

Revolution - The American Revolution (1775-83) is also known as the American Revolutionary War and the U.S. War of Independence. The conflict arose from growing tensions between residents of Great Britain's 13 North American colonies and the colonial government, which represented the British crown. Skirmishes between British troops and colonial militiamen in Lexington and Concord in April 1775 kicked off the armed conflict, and by the following summer, the rebels were waging a full-scale war for their independence. France entered the American Revolution on the side of the colonists in 1778, turning what had essentially been a civil war into an international conflict. After French assistance helped the Continental Army force the British surrender at Yorktown, Virginia, in 1781, the Americans had effectively won their independence, though fighting would not formally end until 1783.

1812 - In the War of 1812, the United States took on the greatest naval power in the world, Great Britain, in a conflict that would have an immense impact on the young country's future. Causes of the war included British attempts to restrict U.S. trade, the Royal Navy's impressment of American seamen and America's desire to expand its territory. The United States suffered many costly defeats at the hands of British, Canadian and Native American troops over the course of the War of 1812, including the capture and burning of the nation's capital, Washington, D.C., in August 1814. Nonetheless, American troops were able to repulse British invasions in New York, Baltimore and New Orleans, boosting national confidence and fostering a new spirit of patriotism. The ratification of the Treaty of Ghent on February 17, 1815, ended the war but left many of the most contentious questions unresolved. Nonetheless, many in the United States celebrated the War of 1812 as a "second war of independence," beginning an era of partisan agreement and national pride.

Opium - The Opium Wars,two armed conflicts inChinain the mid-19th century between the forces of Western countries and of theQing dynasty, which ruled China from 1644 to 1911/12. The firstOpiumWar (1839–42) was fought between China andBritain, and the second Opium War (1856–60), also known as theArrowWaror the Anglo-French War in China, was fought by Britain andFranceagainst China. In each case the foreign powers were victorious and gained commercial privileges and legal and territorialconcessionsin China. The conflicts marked the start of the era ofunequal treatiesand other inroads on Qingsovereigntythat helped weaken and ultimately topple thedynastyin favour of republican China in the early 20th century.

Chibiabos - Chibiabos is the beloved brother of the culture hero Nanabozhoin the traditional stories of many Anishinabe communities. By some versions, Chibiabos and Nanabozho are twins; according to others, Chibiabos is Nanabozho's younger brother; and in still other tellings, Chibiabos was adopted by Nanabozho as his brother. In some communities Chibiabos, like his brother, is associated with rabbits (his name literally means "ghost rabbit"), but in others, he was a wolf spirit often represented in the physical form of a wolf. Chibiabos was murdered by water spirits (usually identified asWater Panthersor Horned Serpents), touching off a violent chain of events that included the destruction of the earth by flood. Afterwards, Nanabozho accepted that he could not bring his brother back to life, so Chibiabos became ruler of the underworld. He is portrayed as a good and kind being who takes good care of the land of the dead.

Niccolo Machiavelli the Prince - Born on May 3, 1469, in Florence, Italy, Niccolò Machiavelli was a diplomat for 14 years in Italy's Florentine Republic during the Medici family's exile. When the Medici family returned to power in 1512, Machiavelli was dismissed and briefly jailed. He then wroteThe Prince, a handbook for politicians on the use of ruthless, self-serving cunning, inspiring the term "Machiavellian" and establishing Machiavelli as the "father of modern political theory." He also wrote several poems and plays. He died on June 21, 1527, in Florence, Italy.

 **•Fandom References•**

Ichigo - An anime character from show Bleach.

Pochi - Japan owns a white dog called Pochi that resembles an Akita or Shiba Inu, both Japanese breeds. Some say it may be a Japanese Spitz due to his white and fluffy fur in some sketches and fanarts

Kolkolkolkol - Russia could be issuing a warning to others. 'Kolokol' means 'bell' in Russian, and 'kol' is often used as an onomatopoeia in Russian for the tolling of a bell, a centuries-old designation of approaching danger.

RusAme - The ship name for Russia x America

 **Author's Note**

 **Hey again and thanks for sticking with my story. I know that I said I probably wouldn't update yet because I'm still in the middle of exams but well life goes on. I usually typed a little between exams to help calm down my slight exam anxiety. So please no hate on England's attitude. I pinkie promise that England's attitude will improve when he comes to understand what's happening with the blonde twins. The world views America as an idiotic, hero obsessed idiot. I'd like to set a challenge for you my viewers. Whoever can guess what's wrong with each character first within the first five chapters can submit a diary entry about any character as long as it isn't too out of character and I swear I'll fit it in. So as you can see every character got a diary entry but as time progresses the main characters will get more entries.**

 **I would like to send some love o the following people who either followed, favourited our commented on my new book.**

 **MY Sacred Promise**

 **Amberwolf2377**

 **LucediDio**

 **RaptureChamber**

 **Aph Native America**

 **SuperheroFangirl**

 **My entire word count is 6468 words.**


	4. Chapter 3

"Maybe I should apologize to Alfred," Arthur thought as he sipped a cup of tea. "I was a little harsh on the lad. And no matter how much I loathe to admit it Francis was right in saying that Alfred is still nothing but a child. A child who managed to go to war with me and win when my empire was in the height of its glory but he is still a child. He has not seen the bloody grounds of war and heard the cries of the damned like the rest of us have. But still he must learn that his ideas are ridiculous and outlandish and only serve to reinforce the negative American stereotypes. The poor boy refuses to listen to anything I say so maybe he is just getting his just desserts."

"*Angleterre!" Francis exclaimed as he knocked Arthur out of his brooding.

"What do you want frog?" England growled unhappy at being interrupted by his neighbour.

"Do not be like that *mon lapin. I wanted to ask you if you wanted to join Mathieu and I in a little catching up. It has been ages since we've seen the twins." Francis continued

Oh but where is *Amérique?"

"He's probably shoving a few of his nasty burgers down his throat." England commented offhandedly as he stared sadly at his now cold cup of tea.

"Maybe we should look for him?" Matthew suggested politely.

"We should look for him so that we may enjoy some quality family time." Francis repeated as he gently grabbed the hands of his son and possible future husband as he brought them along in search of their youngest family member.

"Why must you drag me along with you to find the git, you bloody frog? I have better things to do than find the stupid prat." England snapped. "Besides he's a big boy, he should probably be able to take care of himself."

"Mon lapin why all the hatred for little America?" Francis asked.

"And why the change of heart?" Arthur shot back. "Last meeting you told me you thought he was nothing but an uncultured, idiotic whale and today you want to preach to me about second chances? I believe you are being a bit hypocritical you *frog."

"People can change, non? Does Alfred not deserve a second chance like everyone else Arthur?" Francis questioned seriously. "Alfred is still young and has made a few stupid mistakes just like you and I did when we were young. He has not had the guidance that we had, we were bad parents and left Alfred on his own for far too long. You hold your grudges for far too long and you need to forgive. Alfred is *notre fils and so is Matthew. I do not understand how it is possible to forget the name of your own son! When was the last time you remembered his name without any prompting from Alfred or I? Do you ever stop to think about how that makes him feel? I am trying to change to become a better father. In the past we were far too obsessed with our empires and we put that in front of the children. I know that I have done wrong but I am trying to correct my wrongdoings what are you doing Arthur?"

"Do you think that I don't know that I'm a horrible father? Don't you think that I don't feel guilty when I can't remember the name of one of my youngest sons? Or when Alfred looks at me like a bloody kicked puppy when I can't even tell him I love him back. I'm a damned mess and I fucking know it!" Arthur thought as he listened to Francis's rant. "It fucking hurts when I want to give my little boys something as simple as a hug and I can't even do it because of something as stupid as my pride. I do love my sons even if I don't know how to show it."

"Is that really how Papa and Arthur thinks of Alfie? But at least Papa is willing to give Alfie a second chance. I knew he wasn't the most liked nation but if even his family thinks of him like that doesn't it ever have an effect on Al? I guess I am being a hypocrite on the matter, after all what I did to him in 1812 was brutal. Just one more thing that I screwed up, I'm such a hoser. I'm supposed to love and protect him as his older brother and instead all I do is mess things up." Matthew thought as he tuned out Francis's and Arthur's bickering. "But I suppose that I should stop looking back on my actions of the past and instead concentrate on doing the right things in the future. One of the first things that I need to do is find out what exactly happened between Al and Native America. Now that I think about it I can't remember him ever talking about his time before Arthur found him, I just never thought about it. I hope nothing bad happened to him but knowing my little brother he is the kind of person to keep all his problems to himself and then shoulder the burdens of others too. Well on the bright side it will probably be revealed it the diary entries. I wonder if my nasty little secret shall be revealed, it's not like I'm doing anything that I don't deserve but I'm sure Papa and Alfie might take it the wrong way."

"I'm not going to stay in my room and mope. That would mean letting them win and showing weakness. Any sign of weakness is inexcusable and will only lead to my downfall. I think i might be being a little overdramatic, I'm blaming my extended stay at Broadway before the meeting. Perhaps Russia would not be opposed to a friendly game of chess." Alfred pondered as his feet changed direction to Russia's room. "I will just have to try harder to keep my competitive spirit in check or it might just end up like the last time China and I engaged in a game of monopoly."

The lean, blonde, American stood at the black wooden door and knocked politely keeping an emotionless and blank look on his face as opposed to his usual goofy smile. There was no point in playing the idiot as Russia is to date one of the few nations to be able to look past the first layer of his facade. The cold war had been one of the few times when Alfred could not afford to play the fool as it was obvious that his country needed him.

Russia opened the door and smiled down at the younger and shorter nation. "What would you like comrade?"

"Would you be opposed to a game a chess?" Alfred questioned with a tilt of his head. "There is a board we may use in the conference room."

"Da." Russia blinked surprised at having been sought out by another nation, especially his cold war opposer.

Alfred smiled softly and moved swiftly and silently in the direction of the meeting room only pausing to make sure that Russia was still following him. Alfred pushed open the heavy metal door effortlessly and held the door for Russia. The icy eyed teenager retrieved a brand new chess set from a small cabinet in the corner of the large room. With the help of Russia, Alfred was able to completely set up the chess board in merely five minutes and sat down to play.

"You may have the first move." Alfred softly offered feeling slightly shy.

"Thank you comrade. You will surely regret it as I shall not go easy on you *Fedechka." Russia said smiling frighteningly as he moved his first black piece.

"I wouldn't want you to go easy on me Ivan." Alfred replied as he moved his own white piece.

"Can I ask you something Fedechka? Why do you play the fool when it is obvious that you are far more intelligent than you pretend to be?" Russia questioned as he continued playing.

"It is because I do not want to end up like you. You are mostly alone with even your family being frightened. I enjoy being able to interact with my family without them shivering in fear. The other nations fear power that they themselves can have no control over except for a few fragile alliances that can be severed easily. I have seen your suffering and although we are friends I would not like to join you in your life of seclusion." Alfred explained as he kept his eyes on the board.

"But is hate really what you desire comrade? I know you are aware that the facade of your is very obnoxious and irritating." Russia countered.

"I will admit that the facade that I have chosen has long since irritated me and I wish that I had chosen a pleasanter personality closer to my real self. Sometimes I wonder which is worse, being feared or being hated?" Alfred questioned as he captured one of Russia's knights."

"What is your real self like comrade?" Russia wondered as he captured one of Alfred's bishops.

"I- I don't know," Alfred blinked. "I never really thought much about it. Even as a child I was forced to wear a mask to appease someone else even if at that time I wasn't very good at it, maybe one day we'll both find out. I can't remember a time where I could simply be myself without caring about the opinion's of others. Perhaps that in itself is my flaw, but is it not human desire to be loved and as nations we mirror our human counterparts?"

"Da *Fedechka you are correct. The other nations might have a heart attack if they heard or saw you now. You have not shoved any of those tangible heart attacks down your throat."Russia complemented. "And you have not sprouted out any nonsense about heroes or ridiculous ideas. You are being intelligent with obviously well thought out replies."

Alfred blushed lightly although with his pale parlour it was rather obvious and then partook in the mature thing and stuck his tongue out at the older nation. At this point in time the game was already drawing to a close with both sides equally matched and skilled. Had another country been here they would have been shocked to see the •Cold War participants having a civil conversation with no promises of nuclear warfare and war. Instead it was merely two friends seeking to relieve boredom by playing a friendly game of chess. The American representative was surprisingly silent, only speaking after being spoken too, had replied with intelligent obviously thought out ideas and had not once sprouted out any insane scheme involving giant robots, superheroes or a combination of the two. The Russian representative too had not asked his chessmate to become one with him, nor had he commented on the darker blonde's so called obesity and had instead chosen to enjoy his time with one of his few friends.

"Checkmate." Alfred smiled softly.

"Good game comrade," Russia congratulated. "We must play again soon when you are not acting like a *cамо по центру идиот."

"Meanie!" Alfred replied childishly with a slight pout. "You know my reasons."

"That doesn't mean that I like them." Russia countered as he began packing the chess set.

"Stop!" Alfred demanded as he gently grabbed Russia's arm. "You can't put it in like that."

"*Зачем?" Ivan asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"You can't just dump it in like that!" Alfred protested as he began removing the pieces that had already been placed inside and began arranging them properly. Russia stood off to the side smiling softly at how carefully Alfred was organizing the chess pieces. The pale, blond closed the box and placed it in the otherwise empty cabinet.

Ivan smiled down at his shorter friend as the exited the room together going in the directions of their rooms after a friendly goodnight and a short, warm hug.

"Ve~ Germany let's draw," Italy insisted as he clung to his almost boyfriend's arm. The taller nation sighed but chose not to try to refuse Italy because he had gotten to a point in his life where it was simply easier to go along with Italy's request the first time instead of needing tears to persuade him at the sixth time.

"Why wouldn't he ask me to draw with him? Am I not good enough?" Southern Italy wondered as he paced up and down his large bedroom. "Should I ask him to join? But I don't want to spend more time than I need to with the Potato Bastard! Maybe I'm being the bad big brother? But how would I fix it? Can it even be fixed?"

Romano flopped onto his bed and cradled his pillow to his chest as his eyes glazed over and he was taken deep into his memories.

"Ve~ Big Brother come play with me!"

"Big Brother can we have pasta for lunch?"

"Big Brother do you want to play with me?"

"Big Brother come meet Holy Rome!"

"But Big Brother I don't want to go! I'm playing with Holy Rome!"

"Bye Big Brother I'm going to play with Holy Rome!"

"Big Brother he's gone! He promised he would come back so he is!"

"Waaaahhhhh!"

"Big Brother meet Germany!"

"I'm sorry Big Brother but I promised Germany I'd cook for him today."

"I wish I could be a better big brother," Romano thought as he bit his lip. "I can't seem to do anything right, maybe that's why Feli prefers that stupid potato bastard over me. He already broke Feli's heart once and I know he is going to do it again, so why won't Feli listen to me? I'm sure he suspects that the potato bastard is a reincarnation of Holy Rome! Or is it that he just want to get away from me? Am I pushing him away? Is it my fault? Why the hell do I care about him? He doesn't even like me but I need his affection so much. It's obvious that he's just going to leave me again just like he did before when he left with •Julius. I should simply close off my heart but that is a lot easier than it sounds. Maybe I should ask for help? Yeah right! Who would want to help a *bastardo like me? All I do is push people away and besides who would want to help me when Feli might need something? Whatever it's not like it's important, I might as well go to bed now, tomorrow shall be a long day,"

"I have absolutely no inspiration for this yaoi that I need to complete," Japan thought worriedly as he stared at a blank laptop screen. "I promised the publisher that I would have this ready by the end of the week and it's already Friday. Perhaps I can draw inspiration from RusAme. Yes! Russia, is the overbearing and overprotective alpha dominant who controls everything that his reluctant submissive America does. America is a naturally free spirit who hates being controlled but will endure if it means keeping his lover happy. Eventually Russia goes too far and America breaks free from the cruelty of his lover and escapes to his family overseas. I believe that I can make this work with a little bit of effort and I need to alter Alfred's age so it won't be considered pedophilia to the editor."

Japan smiled briefly before he bent his head and began typing away furiously on his laptop.

"But I wish Amer - no Alfred -kun would be with me instead. Something about him makes me feel a longing that I never have felt before, he makes me feel so alive in a way that I never have felt before. Perhaps after this is over I will invite him to AnimeCon with me or to play video games." Japan thought hopefully. "I believe that I may have a small crush on someone who considers me their best friend, how cliché. I wonder which of my secrets will be revealed in the diary entries."

China sat on his eastern style bed fingering a brittle painting from long ago. The picture featured younger versions of his little brothers and sister •Li Xiao Chun, •Im Yong Soo, •Lin Yi Ling, •Honda Kiku, •Im Hyung Soo, and himself Wang Yao. He remembered when his little family was complete and his house was full of childish laughter, happiness and smiles, nowadays the only other alive beings residing with him were his many panda bears.

"I miss having a family," China wept with his head in his hands. "I miss waking up to Kiku climbing in my bed after a nightmare, I miss when •Im Hyung Soo and •Im Yong Soo would do everything together and go everywhere together, I miss playing with my little princess •Lin Yi Ling and trying to draw •Lin Xiao Chun out of his shell. I remember enjoying the taste of half burned breakfast on my birthday from my babies. I don't understand how England could leave his baby home alone for any extended period of time, how could he survive seven years not knowing if America was even alive? Arthur was given the precious gift of life and he didn't take care of him, every child is precious! I would know, I have raised five children and I miss that so much. When I was born no nations were around to take care of me, that is why I try to hold onto my family the way I do because I don't not want anyone to be as lonely as I was in my youth. I was alone for hundreds of years just wondering and looking for a family and purpose before I •first found Japan and began raising him. For the first time in my life I had had felt needed and then I found more and little ones to take care of, I had felt so needed and loved and then after Japan's betrayal everyone began leaving. I wish so much that I could go back to that time, is it wrong to have a family? England does not know what he is losing out on by pushing his America and um, Canadia, Canada and France away like that. Maybe America is so immature because he is still seeking parental affection from his deadbeat father °Opium. America never had a proper father figure in his life but maybe Native America was a better mother. No, I believe that she might have mistreated Alfred someway, I have volunteered at enough orphanages that I can tell the signs of an unhealthy familial relationship. The other one is so invisible that I barely have any prominent memories of him where he wasn't being mistaken for his brother or being embarrassed by France. How is it possible for one child to be so outshone by the other? When I was raising my babies I made sure that no child was left behind to hide in the shadows of the others."

Yao stood up slowly and walked over to his bathroom to wash his face before he returned to his bed to sleep.

One by one each nation returned to his bed to go off to sleep.

Germany and Italy had fallen asleep cuddled together an Italian movie called °La Dolce Vita. Although Ludwig might appear cold and hard to the other nations when he was with Italy all his walls seem to just melt away. There was just something about the 5"8 that seemed to melt away the taller 5"11 man's walls like the spring after winter.

Japan had once again fallen asleep at his computer with a sense of accomplishment as he had completed his fictional story and had sent it to his editor after proofreading it. Sadly, enough China had cried himself to sleep while a now familiar longing for a family weighing heavily in his heart. Russia had gone the opposite direction and had actually fallen asleep with a small smile which to him was a very rare feeling. Much like his Chinese counterpart the more Southern Italian personification had cried himself to sleep feeling the part of his heart reserved for his little brother being empty. Arthur had been coaxed into having a few drinks by Francis and being the lightweight that he was had gotten completely wasted and had needed to guide him to his room, let's just say that Arthur is called *grand ambassadeur du sexe by France for a reason.

Alfred had long since nodded off as he had not slept properly for almost a week having missed almost a week of work previously due to the world meeting. During the world meeting no nation was able to work properly due to the large number of distractions and the preference to catch up with other nations. President °John Doe had offered to extend the blond's deadline but being the overambitious, workaholic that he was Alfred refused to give in any less than 500% and had managed to flawlessly cram two weeks of work into one.

Canada tossed and turned in his large king size bed unable to sleep. The blond haired, purple eyed nation was a major insomniac and often found it hard to sleep more than three or four hours a night. Matthew sat up in his bed and placed his head into his hands as he stared into nothingness.

"I miss the days when I could cuddle with Alfred to sleep," Matthew thought. "Maybe I can? I'm sure he won't mind, he always cuddles with me after he's frightened by a scary movie."

Matthew slid out of his bed clad in his pancake themed pajamas and walked out of his room quietly out of his room with his blanket in his hand. The Canadian crept quietly into the room of his younger twin. The pale American snored softly completely oblivious to his surroundings. Matthew slipped unnoticed into his brother's bed and began to cuddle with him. Alfred subconsciously leaned into his older brother's touch and began nuzzling his brother's neck eagerly seeking his affection and maybe drooling a little. Matthew ran his small hands through his brother's soft hair reminiscing about the days in which they shared a room and did everything together. The northernmost brother lay his head on the feathery pillow and closed his eyes as his breathing began to slow down and he entered the realm of sleep feeling closer to his brother than he has in years.

Matthew being an early riser awoke long before his twin brother but was unable to get up as he was being used as a pillow by Alfred. The blue eyed nation had curled up unto his brother, using his chest as a pillow with his hands around his older brother's waist while their legs were intertwined.

"Alfie, you drooled on me, you idiot," Matthew groaned quietly. "This was my favorite pair of pajamas but you do look pretty cute while you're sleeping so you're forgiven this time. Although you do feel strangely light, maybe it's the angle he's resting on me? Now that I think about it he has looked a little thinner, that's pretty good! The other nations can be pretty mean to him! I don't understand why, I mean compared to everyone else we're still children both in human years and actual age. We're only thirteen or maybe fourteen and yet people over twenty bully him and call him names like slut and whore when everyone knows that Alfred is still a virgin. I wonder what it feels like to always be in the spotlight like he is? I'm always so invisible and almost no one knows me or even my name. I wonder why I'm so easily forgotten considering I'm one of the largest countries in the world. The few times I am noticed I'm always mistaken for Alfred and the other nations almost always want to beat me up! Even Papa ignores me sometimes and Arthur, the man I once called Daddy can't even remember my name or who I am without Papa or Alfred reminding him. I thought when Alfie left and became independent that he would have more time for me but he was always out on the sea or off fighting with Papa. It's so unfair! Am I simply not good enough to be considered his child? Is something wrong with me? Even Mr. Kuma -something can't remember my name but considering I also can't remember his then I guess we're equal. I wonder where he went today, he disappeared before I woke up. I need to pee! But I don't want to awaken Alfie, but my bladder is bursting."

Matthew tried to untangle their bodies but Alfred clung to him whimpering slightly at being moved. The Canadian personification frowned slightly before he shook his brother awake seeing as he has no other choice. Alfred once again whimpered slightly before he opened his icy colored eyes as he gazed around blearily as he continued to cuddle with his brother.

"I gotta pee!" Matthew whined. "Please get off me."

Alfred rolled off his brother and let Matthew retreat to the bathroom. The blond still on the bed clutched his brother's pillow, burying his nose into it and enjoying his brother's scent. When Matthew was done doing his business and entered his brother's bedroom to the sight of an already half asleep Alfred. Matthew signed before he went to the small and portable kettle that was already filled with water and turned it on.

"Coffee?" Alfred mumbled quietly.

"I'll make coffee for you if you get up," Matthew bargained knowing that Alfred couldn't resist good coffee.

"M'kay Mattie." Alfred agreed as he struggled to rise from the pillowy confines of his bed. "I like your coffee."

"I know little brother," Matthew agreed. "I'm going to add lots of sugar just like you usually drink it. Although I don't know which teenager is as addicted to coffee as you."

Matthew prepared the steaming hot beverage for his still sleepy brother and handed him the drink. Alfred began to slowly sip his Americano as he continued staring at his brother.

"Mattie," Alfred began in a small voice. "I've missed this, I've missed you and I don't want to lose you. I know sometimes that I may be very annoying, irritating and useless but please don't get rid of me! You're my big brother and I love you so much and I don't know what I would do if you left me. Please don't leave me!"

"Alfred where is this coming from?" Matthew questioned as he moved to wrap his hands around his younger brother's waist. "Please don't think like that! I promise I won't leave you, I love you too much for that and besides twins need to stick together. No matter what the other nations say please don't think that you're useless, irritating or any of those other things. Alfie I need to know where you got that thought from, please tell me."

"It's -it's nothing," Alfred sniffed as he buried his head in the crook of brother's neck. "Please drop it."

Matthew eyed his brother worriedly but decided to drop the matter knowing that Alfred would tell him when he was ready. The brothers remained in each other's embrace for a few minutes before Alfred seems himself composed and balanced enough to let go.

"I think I'm okay now Mattie," Alfred said as he wiped his eyes. "I think I'm going to shower now."

Matthew gave his brother one last squeeze before he released him from the safety of his arms. The still glassy eyed teenager stood up and went to his the bathroom on his side of the now joint room to get ready for the day. Once inside the lavish blue and white bathroom the teen stood in front of his large mirror and examined his body thoroughly. To Alfred what he saw was an obscenely, obese teenager with lifeless, mustard yellow hair and dull blue eyes. This person had flabby thighs the size of tree trunks, a stomach so large that it almost overlapped his knees and jiggly arms with fingers so ringed with fat that they could barely close. In reality what was there was nothing more than a skeleton with stick thin arms and legs with protruding bones that had surprisingly thick blond hair with wide, broken (but fixable) ice blue eyes with just the barest hints of baby fats on his cheeks.

"I'm so confused, I don't understand why Matthew seems so sure that he won't leave me or get tired of me, everyone else did. •Shima got tired of me before I could walk and told me so, Daddy always tried to stay very far away from me without outright saying it and Francis always preferred Mattie so why should Mattie be any different and stay? Doesn't he understand that he deserves better than a probably mentally unstable and morbidly obese twin? I feel very lost and I don't know which direction to go to. Matthew feels safe, safe means no pain and no more hurt so maybe I can fully put my trust in him with no walls up? I know I always call him big brother but I don't reveal everything to him and he seemed genuinely concerned about my well-being so when we come back tonight I'm going to answer all his questions. I just really hope that he still likes me afterwards."

On the other side of the wall the other twin was surprisingly going through a similar thought process that stayed along the lines of self doubt, low self-esteem and self worth.

"What am I doing wrong?" Matthew pondered as he leaned against the wall in his identical red and white bathroom. "I must be a horrible big brother if Alfred feels that I'm going to abandon him! Maybe I shouldn't have berated him like that last meeting, I made him cry! He had looked so broken and sad and I did nothing to comfort him but tell him that he needs to grow up. That was unfair to him! We are kinda still children and I'm the one who chose to mature quicker but that's doesn't mean I have to force that on him. What kind of big brother am I? So much for my supposed maturity if I can't even see the huge details, eh."

The two brothers then proceeded to shower and clothed themselves. Formal clothes are usually only worn on the first day of the meetings and then everyone is free to dress as they want making sure they're dressed appropriately of course. Alfred choose to wear a padded (to keep out the cold which unintentionally ups his bulk) oversized red sweatshirt from °MIT that was partially falling off his bony shoulders with a pair of very loose fitting jeans and white Vans. Matthew was dressed in his typical Canadian themed hoodie with a pair of skinny jeans with a pair of black converses.

"Are you ready to go Alfred?" Matthew questioned as he stepped out of his bathroom where Alfred was drinking yet another cup of coffee. "You know that much coffee will kill you one day."

"Then I shall die doing something that I love," Alfred countered cheekily. "And I'll be back eventually."

Matthew rolled his eyes at his younger brother's reply before he began walking put the door knowing that Alfred would soon follow.

"Owie," Italy groaned as he accidentally rolled off Germany's bed and spotted a box underneath his bed. "Ve~ Germany why are the pretty ladies naked in your book? Aren't they cold?"

Germany began sweating profusely before he grabbed Italy and placed him in the hallway.

"Ve~ why'd you kick me out Germany?" Italy whined.

"*Mein gott! Why did I hide my …special books under the bed. "I hope that Italy doesn't tell anyone, I might be thought of as some sort of closet pervert."

Germany opened the door and grabbed the still whining Italian and returned him to the room.

"You are not to tell anyone what you saw Italy," Germany instructed. "Understand!"

"Ve~ but maybe we can raise money to buy them clothes Germany. They might freeze and get sick!" Italy said informing the taller nation.

"It is a surprise Italy," Germany said lying effortlessly. "We're going to surprise the ladies with coats and blankets but if too many nations know then someone might tell them by accident."

"Ve~ okay," Italy agreed. "Do you have more pretty ladies to clothe?"

Germany let out a soft curse before he kicked Italy out again and locked the door this time.

 ***Word Glossary***

Angleterre (French) -England

Amerique (French) -America

Fedechka (Russian) -Alfred

Mein gott (German) -My God

Bastardo (Italian) -Bastard

Зачем (Russian)- What for

cамо по центру идиот (Russian) - The idiot.

• **Fandom References•**

Im Hyung Soo- North Korea

Lin Xiao Chun- Hong Kong

Lin Yi Ling- Taiwan

Im Yong Soo- South Korea

Julius- Rome

 **Author's Note**

Hello everyone I'm sorry for not updating for so long. I've already started on the next chapter so the gap won't be as long between updates. I'd like to thank everyone who has ever supported by story! You guys rock and ate my inspiration for writing. This chapter is more of a filler since the original chapter was 11K and still growing so I decided to chop it in twAnd if you got a notification for a chaoter before this it was an error, the chapter cam out really weird. And please review and tell me your thoughts about how I'm doing so far. So review, follow and favourite, not necessarily in that order. Bye guys!


	5. Chapter 4

Each nation began to awake and go through their daily routine before heading to the meeting room hoping that someone besides England had prepared breakfast. Unfortunately for all of them their wishes had not come true as the British personification had been up from the wee hours of the morning preparing a true English breakfast which was comprised of fried eggs, sausages, back bacon, tomatoes, mushrooms, fried bread,hot buttered toast with a cup of Earl Grey. Well that's what it was supposed to be anyways, however due to England's non- existent cooking skills everything came out either burned or somehow spoiled including the tea.

"Hey Iggy," America greeted as he walked into the meeting room with Matthew by his side. "Dude, what's the smell? Did something die in here?"

"Shut it you insolent twit! Sit down, be quiet and enjoy the delicious breakfast that I cooked," England demanded. "And don't call me •Iggy! My name is England and get it right."

"Okay •Iggy," America nodded as he moved to his usual seat with Matthew silently trailing behind. "Mattie do you think we have a chance to escape?"

"Probably not," Matthew whispered. "He's got his eyes on us like a hawk."

"Eat up boys! After all breakfast the most important meal of the day America and um, Canada." England smiled as he took a quick peek at his arm where Francis had written his son's name the night before.

"He actually remembered my name!" Matthew thought surprised but extremely happy. "I suddenly feel as if I can stomach this breakfast without vomiting, probably, hopefully."

"On the bright side if I need to vomit and I get caught no one will judge me because they'll probably be in the stall next to me," Alfred thought.

"*Bon jour mon amie," Francis greeted as he strolled into the room with his sparkles behind him. "Everyone slept well, oui? Where were you Mathieu? I came to check on you last night and your bed was cold and your room empty. Did you leave the meeting room to go to a date? Ohonohonhon."

"Papa!" Matthew exclaimed. "Of course not! I never have dates when I have meetings. I went to Alfred's room last night because I couldn't sleep properly. And I would have told you if I was leaving anyway."

"Stop the dilly dallying and eat up!" England exclaimed cheerfully as he waved his spatula.

"But what is there to eat mon lapin? All I see is coal! Are you on Finland's naughty list?" Francis teased as he sat down to the left of Matthew and gave his son a wink.

Alfred, Matthew and Francis stared at the food more than a little hesitant to eat it considering the last time Italy tried it he was green for a week. Alfred took a deep breath and shoved as much food down his throat as possible wanting to get it all done with.

"I can't do this!" Alfred choked out as he rushed out of the meeting room and down the hall to the bathroom.

"I better make sure he's okay." Matthew said as he followed his brother out of the room.

"Not even America can stomach your food Angleterre," Francis sighed as he shook his head. "He can stomach everything edible but then your food isn't edible is it?"

"Shut it you frog!" Arthur exclaimed. "There's nothing wrong with my food, you simply have no sense of taste."

"Whatever you say Arthur. I think I should go check up on the boys they've been gone for a long time. Perhaps we should just order pizza, non? After all we are in America the home of fast food." Francis suggested.

"Did Opium cook?" China questioned as he stopped Francis outside the meeting room.

"Yes." Francis answered shortly as he headed to the bathroom hearing the vague sound of vomiting.

"Now what was the number of that pizza place?" Yao wondered.

"Are you okay Alfred?" Francis asked as he saw the boy kneeling on the floor while Matthew rubbed his back.

"Nnngggghhh." Alfred groaned.

"You should know better than to eat Arthur's food," Matthew chastised gently. "He'll be fine Papa don't worry, this isn't the first time that he's eaten something that he shouldn't have."

"I've never seen him look so green." Francis pointed out as he knelt on the other side of America.

"I think I'm done." Alfred stated softly as he leaned onto his twin. "But I might need so help standing and my toothbrush."

"I'll get your toothbrush mon petite." Francis said as he stood up and left.

"That was weird!" Alfred stated as Matthew helped him up. "He sounded like he actually cared!"

"Of course he cares." Matthew pointed out. "He is our father."

"Nope he's your father, not mine! He likes you not me Mattie." Alfred shot back drily. "I'm just your brother not his son."

"Alfred," Matthew began. "I'm sure Francis cares about you-"

"Then why doesn't he show it!" Alfred interrupted. "He's never acted like he cared even when we were kids, every once in awhile he'll act like he cares for a few days at a time then he'll just go back to hating me. It's, it's just easier for me to distance myself instead of get close and get hurt."

"Is that how you feel about me Amérique?" France asked from the open door.

"Why should I think any differently?" Alfred asked with a raised eyebrow. "It's not like I've ever given you a reason not to think otherwise, I'm just comic relief after all."

"I'm sorry," Francis apologized as he placed the toothbrush and toothpaste on the counter and wrapped his children in a hug. "I'm sorry that I never paid enough attention to you two. It was never my intention to make you two feel neglected. I do love you two, you are *mes enfants, *mes bébés and I'm sorry that I ever made you feel anything different."

"Do you mean it?" Alfred mumbled with his face buried in Francis' purple, high collared shirt. "Please don't lie to me."

"I will try to be the father that you two need." Francis promised.

"Thanks Papa. We're putting our trust in you so don't break it." Matthew warned.

"Now let's get you cleaned up Alfred." Francis suggested.

Alfred mutely nodded and then grabbed his toothbrush and began scrubbing out the taste of Arthur's cooking from his mouth while Matthew remained cuddled in Francis's side. When the American representative was done he placed his toothbrush (it was in a cover) into one of his many pockets and tentatively tangled his fingers in Francis' sleeve. Francis beamed down at his youngest son happily knowing that this is a large step for Alfred. The trio walked out of the room together and down the hall back towards the meeting room.

"Is he really being genuine?" Alfred thought as he bit his bottom lip. "Is he doing this out of pity or something? What could the reason possibly be for his sudden change in behaviors and attitude towards me? Is it because he wants to get closer towards Mattie and is using me as a medium which to do so through? I can comprehend why he would think of Mattie as his child but I guess I'll have to wait and see the real reason behind his intent to get closer to me."

Alfred untangled his fingers quickly feeling apprehensive towards the whole situation. He took a small glance upwards to see France's reaction and was quite surprised to see Francis give him a supportive smile. Matthew peeled himself off of Francis and moved to stand next to his baby brother and give him a quick boost of confidence.

Inside the meeting room the other nations were gathered around the large room as per usual in their respective positions. During the absence of the blonde haired trio the other nations had gone to the liberty of ordering about a dozen pizzas from Dominos. Each nation had a few slices on on their place while England sat scowling in his seat with his breakfast in front of him.

"How would like to begin reading today?" Germany asked once the rest of the FACE family was seated.

"I would like to read." Francis stated.

Germany passed the book along the table until it got to the French personification who then began reading in his deep-ish voice.

England developed the habit of wearing glasses whenever reading or doing paperwork. He started this at the end of his pirate days to give himself more of a gentleman appearance.

"So you don't need glasses?" Canada questioned.

England shook his head feeling a bit embarrassed that a stupid secret of his was outed.

Alfred was there when the people of Roanoke disappeared. He knows what happened to them but he never told anyone what happened. Whether it traumatized him, or he simply doesn't want to talk about it no one knows. Anytime Roanoke is mentioned he either goes quiet or just changes the subject. He won't talk about it to anyone, not to Japan, not to England and not even to Canada. And he wants to keep it that way.

Alfred stared down at the table not wanting to meet the other nations curious or sympathetic stares. Francis sensing Alfred discomfort with the situation continued onto the next entry not allowing anyone to comment.

Romano is a hopeless closet romantic who reads romance novels in his free time. Romano has a dating service back in Italy where he helps people plan the most romantic get away much like Francis does in France.

"Bastardo." Romano swore.

"Ve~ big brother that's so awesome!" Italy smiled.

"Ohonohon Romano sometime we must work together to plan the most magnificent date ever." Francis suggested.

"Tch I'll think about it bastard." Romano replied.

Canada isn't innocent. He has sex, a lot of sex. Not just with anyone though, he'll only do it with someone he really trusts.

"I'm so proud of you Matthieu," Francis congratulated. "You are taking right after Papa."

"Papa!" Matthieu whined. "You're embarrassing me."

Alfred sniggered quietly off to the side seeing his older brother getting embarrassed for once instead of him. Kiku blushed lightly and whipped out a notepad to jot a few things down.

Dear Diary,

PANDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"I'm going to assume that that is China's diary," Francis laughed.

"My pandas are so cute!" China smiled. "Nothing cuter, except for my babies."

"You sound like the poster for the perfect parent," Alfred commented offhandedly.

"I may not be perfect but I'm definately better than England could ever be," China replied. "My food would never make a child sick."

"There is nothing wrong with my food!" England exclaimed indignantly. "Some people simply cannot handle such rich food."

"Is that what you call it mon ami?" France questioned. "There is a difference between rich food like mine and horrible cooking like yours."

"This just got awkward really quickly,"Alfred whispered to Canada. "Think they'll fight before Germany's vein pops?"

"I'd say that another nation defuses the situation first," Matthew countered. "Or Papa will let Arthur win so we can move on."

Francis smiled softly as he heard his boys' whispering and gave Matthew a small wink. The French personification suddenly began reading cutting off Arthur's irate ranting.

Dear Diary,

Yesterday I was confined to my bed, still too weak from illness to move, but today i must train. If I am ever to become a stronger country I cannot stay in bed a moment longer. I am small, and the bombs took much out of me, but this is why I must work harder. I do not want to get left behind by the others.

Japan

"You always did push yourself too hard, aru." China frowned."You must take time to recover so that you can be at full strength and fight properly, you are only hindering yourself by fighting like that."

Alfred once again began a staring competition with the table feeling guilty but not regretful for what he did. Yes he wished that there had been another way to end the war but he understood that the other alternative would have resulted in an invasion of mainland Japan which would have taken more lives. He felt guilty because he had been the one to release the first bomb on Hiroshima which had also completely destroyed the Japan- American friendship

Sometimes when they are not in public, America called George Washington Daddy.

England scowled deeply annoyed that someone else had gotten closer to America than him. Especially as it seemed that he had completely replaced England. France smirked knowingly at how jealous that his unofficial boyfriend was being while America was rambling to Canada about George Washington.

"...so I stole his axe and tried to use it to chop up the desk with paperwork but he caught me He made me sit in the corner and put me on timeout." America pouted.

The other nations laughed at what was apparently a very funny story involving the antics of George Washington and America.

Dear Diary,

Today we all played monopoly together. It was really fun! But I think America and China took it a little too seriously.

Italy

China gave a small embarrassed laugh while America let a small blush dust his pale cheeks.

"Maybe we did take it a bit too seriously," Alfred admitted. "Wanna play again?"

"I would like that." Yao agreed.

"Alfred- kun looks rather cute with his blush," Japan thought. "It makes him look younger and somewhat more tolerable."

"I thought China would reach out and strangle you across the table, da." Russia smiled causing everyone to shudder except America who shrugged.

He can't have pets, especially dogs. Whenever he even sees a dog he thinks of Laika. He thinks of the Soviet Experiments such as the Revival of Organisms. He thinks of the terrible things that he's done to animals. And the last time he tried to get a dog, he thought it was giving him a disapproving look, as if it knew all the things he had done to it's kind. He yelled at it to stop with the looks and ended up strangling it. He can't have pets.

Russia

"Ve~ that sounds so horrible Mr. Russia." Italy blurted out.

"Da." Russia agreed.

"Hey Russia instead of getting a pet why don't you start smaller and do something like volunteer at an animal shelter or something." Alfred suggested.

"We're going to a shelter to volunteer next week Saturday why don't you come with us?" Matthew continued picking up where his twin left off.

"Will there be kitties and puppies there Mr. America?" Italy questioned.

"Off course, there will also be bunnies, birds, mice, guinea pigs and hamsters." Alfred listed.

"That sounds nice comrade." Russia said. "I will be sure to be there."

"Ve~ I want to go to Germany. Can we?" Italy asked.

"It does not seem like a bad idea, I have been wanting another dog." Germany admitted.

"I'm coming too bastard to make sure you don't do anything to Feli." Romano proclaimed.

"Perhaps we should make it a group event, non?" Francis chimed in.

"I would love to attend, aru." China agreed.

America is fluent in every languages with includes the ancient/ old languages as well as the languages of the Native Americans. At first it was a hobby and soon he started learning languages out of respect. He also knows sign languages, Morse code and smoke languages. This means that when the other nations insult him in their native languages he usually understands it.

"Nǐ néng dǒng liúlì de zhōngwén ma?" China asked.

"Wǒ zuò." America replied.

"That must take a lot of time and dedication America." Germany said.

"I guess," America shrugged. "How else will the hero be able to ask civilians what's wrong when they need rescuing."

"That isn't quite what the book is saying America." Canada pointed out softly.

America decided to take confusion and have his brother the cutest and most perplexed look in the history of the world meetings

"Awww." Japan cooed.

France who was seated close enough to the twins that he could hear their conversation quirked an eyebrow at contrasting reasons for learning the languages. Something about America was beginning to seem very fake and unreal to him, it was almost like he was wearing a mask.

All nations have a curse over them; when they fall in love with a human, that person will die a horrible, untimely death. People include: Jeanne D'are, Anastasia Nikolaevna and Amelia Earhart.

None of the other nation's dared make a sound out of respect for the losses of France, Russia and America. They hadn't even known that they all were cursed.

Even though England missed them and was sad that they were growing up, he was also proud of how strong they had become. His colonies being able to stand by themselves showed him that he was a good big brother and father and that he had taught them well.

Alfred sneaked a quick glance at his former caretaker and was delighted to see the former empire smiling softly at him and his brother. Canada grabbed his brother's hand and squeezed it tightly as a signal to his brother that he also saw the smile. Francis smirked happily at seeing the parental smile no matter how much England tried to hide it.

"Arthur does love Mathieu and Alfred, he just has a hard time expressing it. He is just far too stubborn to express his feelings properly," Franco's thought. "But perhaps, it's never too late for family."

America is very insecure about his weight. Whenever someone says something about it he acts like their comment doesn't affect him but deep down it really kills him inside.

The other nations shifted uncomfortably at the suddenly tense atmosphere. Alfred blushed once again feeling ashamed of himself for gaining so much weight that it was so noticeable. Matthew moved closer to his brother and grabbed his hand squeezing it in reassurance. Arthur and Francis felt guilty at all the times they had taunted and sometimes outright insulted their son about their weight.

"Sorry," Matthew whispered to his younger twin. "I didn't realize that I hurt you so much Alfie."

Alfred stared at his twin puzzled for a moment as to why he deserved an apology from his brother.

"What are you talking about Mattie?" I deserved it, I can't blame the other nations for something all my fault." Alfred replied softly to his brother.

"It's not your fault that people bully and harass you Al," Matthew whispered back harshly. "You shouldn't blame yourself because someone else is insecure enough about themselves to take it out on other people."

"I'm confused." Alfred admitted as he knitted his eyebrows and scrunched up his nose rather cutely as he always did when he didn't understand something. "I don't know what you're apologizing, you did nothing wrong.

"We've been bullying you Alfie," Matthew explained. "You always have campaigns against bullying in schools so I'm sure you know what it's about and how wrong it is. Our behaviors has been rather mean and uncalled for. I'm sorry about the last time, I took it way too far with the three hour thing."

Alfred winced as he remembered that time, it has hurt him the most because he had always hoped that Matthew would always love him. The other nations exchanged looks as they caught a few snippets of the whispered conversation and they each began wondering if they really were bullying the blonde nation. They all vowed to reflect upon their actions later that day and see if they really were bullies, because that's something none of them would like to be called. Alfred nodded still feeling very confused but have his brother a winning smile to ease his worries anyways. Canada sighed relieved at having gotten it off his chest because he really did regret it.

This year poor Japan had ended up being the poor sap who had gotten picked to accompany America on his Black Friday midnight sales marathon. When they had finally gotten back the sun had already risen and America had least twenty bags of newly purchased merchandise. Japan on the other hand wanted to get the hell way and let the horror of the night try to get shoved to the back of his mind as he tried to forget how vicious shoppers could be when it came to Black Friday.

"It isn't that bad, is it?" America whined having already bounced back. "I mean we didn't even go to Arkansas or Tennessee or Alabama."

"They are worse?" Japan asked paling rapidly. "I was assaulted by an old lady with a cane, it left bruises."

"Alaska is like one of my least violent states when it come to Black Friday," Alfred went on. "I like to state hop for these things so trust me I know. And besides that XBox was 90% off, I was ready to whack you with a cane for taking so long to choose one. You grab it, put it in your cart and move."

"Your Black Friday sales can be very intimidating comrade," Russia commented. "The women especially are merciless using their shoes, boyfriends and purses as weapons and shields. People were climbing on top of each other and it appeared as if your people had less sanity than usual. You brought me to Arkansas, da?"

"Yeah, that was a pretty awesome Black Friday. Arkansas might not have the best sales but the shoppers there have the most enthusiasm." Alfred beamed.

"I was bitten," Canada interjected. "I needed to get stitches for maples sake! It was totally wild."

"Remind me never to go to a Black Friday sale with America," Arthur whispered to France feeling alarmed.

"It was fun," Alfred protested with a small pout. "You just need to get into the Thanksgiving spirit."

"Your type of fun scares me," Matthew admitted. "Heck you scared me during Black Friday! You were crazier than usual, you borrowed Russia's pipe and you kept playing whack- a - shopper with it."

"Perhaps I should continue," Francis thought. "I feel frightened of Alfred's crazy Black Friday sales. I am so happy that he's never asked me to go with him."

Italy and Romano aren't even twins, in fact, they aren't even full brothers, they're actually half brothers. While Romano is Italy's half brother, he's actually Greece's full brother. Romano knows but he won't tell Feliciano for fear of rejection.

"Fratello? Why do you think that I'd reject you?" Italy asked.

"Why should you? I'm just a stupid bastardo! I can't cook or draw or do anything well. I'm not talented like you and I'm not nice like you. Why would you even want me as a brother!?" Romano exclaimed.

"Fratello." Italy whispered as tears began filling his eyes.

"See, I can't do anything properly. I made you cry. I'm a bad big brother." Romano mumbled.

Italy tackled his brother in a crying him muttering about how wrong that Romano was. The other nations silently exited the room to give the brothers the time and space they needed to reconcile their relationship.

"Hey Mattie," Alfred said. "I wanted to know if you'd help me with the demonstration the Iggie wants me to do."

"Sure," Matthew smiled. "What exactly would we be doing?"

"I haven't really thought much about it yet to be honest," Alfred admitted. "Any ideas?"

"A little shapeshifting?" Canada suggested.

"Some electric and air element use?" Alfred put forward. "There'll also be no need to display any healing magic so no need to think about that one."

"You're right and I can add a bit cold of ice powers thrown in there." Matthew finished.

"Think Iggie will be surprised?" Alfred questioned. "I'm sure that we have more power since we're part or were once part of Native American mythology but he has his technique down."

"You have a point," Matthew agreed.

"Thanks for doing this with me," Alfred smiled shyly. "I really appreciate it. After all the hero always needs his sidekick."

"Don't worry about it Alfie," Matthew replied kindly. "Anything for you baby brother."

Alfred blushed lightly before he was pulled into a hug by Canada. Alfred buried his face into his slightly taller brother's shoulder taking in the lingering smell of pancakes and maple syrup that always clung to his twin.

Francis stood silently in the background feeling happy that his children were so open to affection with each other.

"America- san and the other one look very kawaii. What is the paler blond's name? I feel like I have heard it before. Cana- something, I'll remember it eventually," Japan thought. "But first I must take pictures to add to my collection of kawaii nations."

"You wanna go outside and wait for the Italies to finish up?" The American mumbled into his brother's shoulder.

"Sure," Matthew agreed. "Should we ask Papa to come with us? I think that everyone wants to see your display, so we can leave now to warm up."

Alfred nodded and unwrapped his arms from his brother's upper body. Canada and America walked over to France who had began fighting with England.

"Hey guys!" America beamed as he bounced up to the pair. "Wanna go outside? We have to show you our really cool superpowers."

"You mean you're magical demonstration?" England questioned raising one giant eyebrow.

"Whatever you say Iggie dude." America replied cheerfully before turning and exiting.

England sighed before following the bouncing American, quiet Canadian and fatherly/ perverted French man outside. Japan remained outside the meeting room so that he could inform the Italies where everyone went while Russia and China went outside.

"Okay Mattie let's warm up." Alfred suggested.

Matthew nodded and closed his eyes taking a deep breath and concentrating on releasing a small amount of his icy magic. The temperature around the Canadian drastically slowly reaching negative temperatures and icing the ground around him. America bounced happily alongside his brother careful not to slip on the ice before he decided it was his turn to warm up. Alfred took a deep breath in and felt the wind currents that rushed around him each one trying to outdo the other, wanting to serve the wind spirit before them. Alfred could generate wind but it was easier for him to simply manipulate the already present wind currents. He smiled softly and took control of one of the gentlest currents so that he wouldn't accidentally harm any of his friends. Alfred lifted himself a few feet off the ground and laughed happily at the wind's soothing touch. England teared up in the background feeling very proud of his babies. France patted Arthur soothingly on the back and handed the man a tissue to dry his eyes.

"I'm so proud of them," England thought. "They're so talented and they look so happy."

"Ve~ don't tell me that you started without us." Italy said as he joined the group along with a strangely quiet Romano, Germany and Japan following behind him.

"Of course not dudes," America laughed. "The hero never misses an opportunity to entertain his adoring fans.

"Ready Mattie?" Alfred asked.

"Whenever you are Alfie." Matthew replied. "Keep it moderate okay. No tornadoes or anything like that. Let's stick with a simple snow storm for now."

Alfred mock saluted before he landed on the ground next to his brother using his own magic to raise his body temperature enough to withstand the cold. Alfred raised his pale hands to the sky and the other nations watched in awe as dark clouds suddenly began gathering above them. Strong winds whipped around the nation's gently caressing them like Alfred instructed them to do. He smirked slightly and instructed the winds to raise the other nations off the ground and into the air while he also began flying.

"Ve~ fratello we're flying!" Italy exclaimed.

"Put me down you burger bastard," Romano shrieked as he saw the ground get further and further away. "I don't want to get smashed in a million pieces if you drop us."

"Don't worry I won't," Alfred promised as he flew to meet the other nations with his brother by his side.

"This is very exciting America- kun. It is just like one my anime." Japan said.

"Totally Japan. Awww are you afraid of heights Iggy?" America questioned as he brought a white faced Englishman closer o to him.

"No-o," England stuttered. "I just prefer riding on a broomstick like any civilized wizard."

"I wouldn't drop you Daddy." Alfred whispered.

"What did you say lad?" England asked.

"Nothing." Alfred smiled before he began zipping between nations leaving a small trail of lightning behind.

"This is great way to kill a man Fedechka, da," Russia noted. "His insides will become his outsides."

"Been there, done that." Alfred thought as he simply grinned at the strangely calm Russian.

Alfred instructed the wind to bring his friends and family back down to the ground before releasing her from her duty for the moment. The wind ruffled his hair gently causing him to giggle at the affection like a small child. Alfred had always gotten the indication that the winds had genders and that one had been distinctly feminine. The other nations stared at America curiously for a second before deducing that it was just one of his many New World, uh, quirks.

"Okay my turn." Canada announced.

"Ve~ Ludwig, America multiplied!" Italy exclaimed.

"No Feliciano- kun that is America- san's twin brother, um, Canadia." Japan explained.

"It's Canada actually," Mathew sighed. "Hey Alfie can I use your clouds?"

Alfred nodded distractedly still conversing with the wind in his own weird way.

Canada bit his lip in concentration creating a light flurry which progressed into a beautiful snowfall. Now here comes the difficult part, chunks of snow and ice began merging into different creatures. The snow formed the national animals of all the countries, a North American Beaver (Canada), A Gallic Rooster (France), a Carp Fish (Japan), a Eurasian Brown Bear (Russia), a Lion (England), a Bald Eagle (America), a Giant Panda (China), a Black Eagle (Germany) and a Timber Wolf (Italy).

"Hey Alfie when you're done over there could you help me animate a few?" Matthew asked.

"Okie dokie." Alfred nodded as he glided over to some of the animals on the previous air current.

One by one the animals came to life with the magical touches of Alfred and Matthew. Two eagles began racing against each other and Alfred. A Carp swarm in circles around Japan's head and a wolf playfully nipped at the Romano and Feliciano's feet. The snow lion began chasing the roster much like its human counterparts. The beaver ran over to its creator happily rubbing against his legs while the bear lay down at Russia's feet. The giant panda began ambling towards the ever panda loving China to get some pats and cuddles.

"This is amazing!" France exclaimed.

"Thanks Papa/ France." The twins said in unison.

"We have one more trick up our sleeves." America announced.

"Well not literally but we're just gonna show you the basics." Matthew thought.

"We'll be right back." Matthew said before the twins ran off.

"Snow panda!" China shrieked.

"These creatures are magnificent," Italy observed. "They're so life like. It's as if they were actual animals."

"The twins are very talented at magic aren't they, Arthur?" France questioned.

"I am surprised to be honest. I didn't expect anything like this. I'm proud? Yes. I'm very proud of them." Arthur admitted quietly to Francis.

"Why don't you tell them that?" Francis asked.

"I try but then it gets caught in my throat. Why am I even telling a frog like you that!" England exclaimed. "It's not like that need me any more they're old enough to take care of themselves and you seem to be getting closer to them."

"They are still very young. America is only 241 and Canada is even younger being only 150. You and I have hundreds of years on the twins and yet sometimes we act even more childish than they do. It is not wrong to act a little parental to a younger nation *mon amie." France explained.

"Do you think that they'd even want me as their daddy anymore?" Arthur questioned sadly.

The rooster and the lion that had previously chasing each other settled down in front of the nations that they had been created for staring up at them.

"I'm sure that they do," Francis reassured before gesturing to the snow creatures. "I believe that they want some attention."

France bent down gathering the rooster in his hands ignoring the freezing temperatures and began cooing at it. The lion nudged Arthur's legs jealous of the attention that the rooster was getting.

"You are a cute little bugger aren't you?" Arthur whispered as he knelt in front of the lion. "You're remind me of my little Alfred when he was younger. He always wanted a little attention from me, he was very clingy after he got over his fear of Francis and I. When it was just Alfred and I he would always crawl into my bed to sleep and cuddle with me. Everywhere I went he tried to follow me, even to the bathroom. I broke his heart when I went on that first ship back to England. Sometimes when I'm alone I can still hear the screams he made, it's haunted me for hundreds of years. I couldn't take him to England with me because a newly discovered country or colony needs to remain on or close to their land and I was needed in England. It got better when the Frog and Canada came to live with us as one of us could always be there with you. But I do love Alfred and Matthew with all my heart and soul and maybe even the the Frog."

The lion rubbed against Arthur's face purring softly as it tried to comfort the now teary eyed England. The animal grabbed the end of Arthur's shirt with its surprisingly sharp teeth and started dragging him to the edge of the clearing. The other animals were also doing the same to the countries that they represented. The nations got the feeling that they something big was about to happen and began patiently waiting for whatever was supposed to happen. A loud clap of thunder broke the tentative silence and startled the older nations, simultaneously all the animals returned to snow.

A loud bird screeched somewhere not to far off temporarily deafening the nations as the animal swooped into the large clearing. It was a beautiful and majestic bald headed eagle with snowy white tail feathers and a tawny brown bodice. The bird had a curved yellow beak and dangerously sharp talons that screamed predator. Strangely enough the eagle's eyes were an icy blue color that shown with human like intelligence. The eagle was about half a foot tall and seemed strangely thin. The bird walked up to the nations and stared up at them as if waiting for a response.

"Ve~ I think the bird wants to talk to us Romano!" Italy exclaimed.

The bird tilted its head at the nation and rolled its eyes as if to say duh.

"Did that bird just roll its eyes?" France asked stunned.

The bird nodded in response to the French man's questioned.

"Can you understand us, aru?" China questioned.

The bird nodded again before glancing towards the forest and walked back into the forest.

A bear growled loudly before it ambled out of the forest slowly looking annoyed at the eagle which kept hopping around it. The bear, to be specific a polar bear was still the size of a cub and had fluffy looking snow white fur. It also had strange purple eyes in place of the customary dark brown which were also filled with human like intelligence. The bear had sharp claws and teeth customary of that of a predator.

The bird lifted itself into the air with it strong wings producing a somewhat muted thunderclap each time. The eagle settled in a branch near the head of Arthur and chirped loudly to gain his attention. The bear moved closer to Francis and buried its tiny head into the nation's legs.

"Surprised Iggy?" The bird asked.

"I think that bird just talked, da." Russia stated just as shocked as the other nations.

"Alfred? Is that you?" England confirmed.

"Took you long enough." Alfred teased. "Is it really that surprising?"

"Don't be mean Alfie," Matthew reprimanded gently "They're still in shock."

"Mathieu?" France confirmed as he knelt down in front the cub.

"Yes Papa." Canada nodded.

"The North American twins are more talented than I'm sure that everyone thought, especially America- san. I am surprised at the way that America -san has been behaving these past few days, he seems quite calm and collected. Perhaps there is a different side of America -san that we do not know," Japan thought as he observed America hopping and flitting around the clearing. "I think I would not mind getting to know that side, he seems sweet and not obnoxious."

"Aren't you two adorable," China cooed as he knelt in front of Canada. "You look like a fluffy, teddy bear."

The small bear made a small noise of embarrassment before giving China the bear equivalent to a smile.

The afternoon when by quickly (I got lazy) with the two brothers remaining in animal form for the afternoon until everyone got hungry.

"Can we like to and eat guys?" America whined. "I'm hungry."

"Perhaps now would be a good time for lunch," German seconded. "I believe that today is Japan and I's turn to cook dinner."

Japan nodded from his place in the ground where he had been playing with America. The island nation smiled to his younger counterpart in apology before he left to go prepare lunch.

"Perhaps it's time we switch back America." Canada suggested.

The younger twin nodded before he suddenly took off in the direction of the forest leaving a small trail of lightning behind him. Canada was quick to follow and join his brother to go change his clothes.

"I'll wait for then here the rest of you should get of the cold," France volunteered. "Perhaps a change of clothes would be in order, non?"

"I'll stay too to make sure that you don't do anything Frog," England added quickly. "I don't trust you."

The other nations left the other two nations alone, eager to change out of there damp clothing. The twins walked out of the forest slowly now on their human forms looking quite tired. America's meager weight was partially being supported by his brother as he stifled a few yawns and rubbed his eyes with his feast.

"Dinner and bed for you two," France commanded as he went to stand on the other side of America. "Mon lapin help Canada to the dining room table, he is very tired."

Arthur have Francis a startled look as he was the one who typically dealt with Canada. France have Arthur a look that said we'll talk later' and since Arthur sensed that it wasn't the time he shut his mouth. The FACE family made their way to the dining room table quietly with America almost asleep on France's arm.

"Can you stay awake enough long enough to eat something poppet?" England asked. "You haven't had anything to eat since breakfast and you really should eat something."

"I'll try," Canada yawned. "That switching took a lot out of us because we haven't done it in a while."

"The same applies to you as well America," France said. "You shouldn't go to bed on an empty stomach."

America who was at that point more asleep than awake buried his head in Francis' neck as he really didn't want to eat. Francis tentatively hefted his small burden onto his hip surprised that the smaller nation did not mind, if anything he seemed to like it. The elder blonde duo exchanges surprised glances over the twins head before. Arthur opened the door with his free hand and guided the Canadian nation to his seat much to the surprise of the other nations already in the room.

Japan once again began snapping pictures to be placed in his new FACE family photo album. The elder blondes placed their child in their respective seats. Canada who was more alert than his twin took a his glass of water and splashed some of it on his brother's face.

"Hey!" Alfred exclaimed. "What was that for?"

"Eat something." Matthew commanded as tossed a napkin at his brother.

The blue eyes blonde pouted before he glanced the variety of the dishes in the large table. The Japanese dishes included soup Miso Soup, Tempura, grilled fish, Hamburger Steak. There were also two other smaller vegetable dishes which were salads and boiled veggies. The German side of the meal consisted of whole grain bread, cheeses, deli meats, sausages, mustards and pickles.

America took a small serving of Miso soup with a side plate of boiled vegetables. Canada eyed him suspiciously before placing another plate with bread in from of him. America pouted at him before his twin fixed him with a glare that convinced him to eat without another word.

The other nations are their meals quietly conversing softly each too wrapped up in their own worlds to put any effort into conversation. The twins eyelids began dropping once again and soon they were fast asleep on their seats unbeknownst to the other nations.

"I think that the North American twins have fallen asleep," Germany noted as he finally saw them. "Perhaps you should take the two of them to their rooms, England and France."

America was a rested his head on Canada's shoulder who in turn rested on America. Japan cooed quietly before he took out his camera and began taking pictures of the cute sight. France picked up Canada first and places him on his hip before leaving the room. England picked up the remaining twin, deciding that it would be easier to carry him bridal style instead. America nuzzled into the warm presence subconsciously and grabbed the front of his colonizer's shirt with his hand.

"Maybe we should just put the two of them together like last night," Francis suggested. "Matthew once told me that he slept better as a child with his brother at his side."

"Okay Frog," England agreed. "I think that we might need to talk afterwards about them. I think that something might be really wrong with them, I don't know why perhaps instinct?"

Having realized that they had arrived at America's bedroom France opened the unlocked door and placed his child on the bed with Arthur mimicking him.

"*Bonne nuit mes enfants je t'aime." France said as he pulled the cover up over the twins.

Arthur said nothing but brushed a strand of hair from Matthew's forehead with eyes filled with pure paternal love.

"Let us go Frog." England said as he left the room.

France quickly followed his younger partner and returned to the dining room to talk with the rest of the nations.

Unseen by their parents Canada and America moved closer together to cuddle with each other.

*Word Glossary*

Nǐ néng dǒng liúlì de zhōngwén ma (Chinese) - Can you understand chinese fluently as well?

Wǒ zuò (Chinese) -I do

Bonne nuit mes enfants je t'aime (French) - Goodnight my children.

Author's Note

Hello people of the internet, guess what, I finally updated. My fellow @RACE_family members encouraged me to update even if this is garbage. So, on a scale of I forgot that i had an important test today to Donald Trump is actually president how bad is this update? Next chapter I want to address some more serious topics like attempted suicide, eating disorders, bullying and possibly abuse. So I'm not sure if I've already done a disclaimer but I do not own Hetalia or the diary entries most of which I got online. I'm also using one of the entries from @Aph_Nyo_Romania headcannon book. I also don't know why my spacing is double because I'm using Google Docs and this has never happened before. So I'm going to turn off notifications because I'm not sure if anyone will actually like this. So my entire word count is 7047 words.


	6. Chapter 5

"Francis did you realize that Alfred was extremely light?" Arthur asked seriously. "Did you notice that Alfred felt ridiculously light for his age and height when you carried him? Matthew is far heavier than he is and much closer to a normal weight than Alfred."

"Oui, perhaps there is more to the diary entries than we have been led to believe. He is unnaturally skinny, I think I felt his bones when I carried him! Our son is not okay Arthur!" Francis exclaimed. "We need to have a private conversation with Alfred tomorrow and Matthew should not be left out. I hope he does not had an eating disorder but the knot in the pit of my stomach is telling me other wise."

France and England walked back solemnly to the meeting room where everyone was waiting for them. The food had been cleared from the table and the remaining nations all had serious looks on their faces excluding Italy who looked more worried and Russia was a bit hard to decipher. France and England say down in the their chairs, everyone waiting for someone else to start the conversation.

"Germany are we bullies?" Italy blurted out. "Ve~ because I don't want to be a bully."

"Perhaps we are Italy, perhaps now is the time to reflect on our actions and see think about what we have done in regards to the young Amerika and maybe even Kanada. Does anyone have any vivid memory of Kanada?" German questioned. "I don't quite know who he is."

"Canada- san will sometimes play video games with America- kun and I if we go to his New York apartment," Japan offered. "He is usually very competitive when competing with his brother but it appears to be a friendly rivalry."

"I believe that they are very close friends with my brother Prussia who often goes over to visit them over in North America." Germany stated.

"Matvey is good seat," Russia commented. "And Amerika is very good at chess, da."

"Ve~ Mr. America is my atmosphere searching buddy and I think we stayed at Mr. Canada's house once when we were looking," Italy said subdued. "He was really nice and made us yummy pancakes."

"America owes me lots of money and the diplomatic relations between Canada and I are rapidly improving. I will admit that I do not know them personally beyond our country relations aru." China added.

"Some times America, Switzerland and I will go to a private gun range and I don't know how the fuck Canada is." Romano admitted.

"It doesn't sound like we're bullies," Italy said relieved. "But we say a lot of mean things to America in the meetings and when he asks us to come play with him we always say no. We are really mean to him. Ve~ I don't want to be mean!"

The other nations jaws dropped at how insightful Italy was being and how true that it all was. They always declined his offers to hang out with him except for Italy, Russia and Japan even when they did have time. And considering the fact that he asked each of them almost every meeting it added up to a lot of rejects. England and France felt especially guilty considering that they were supposed to be the boy's paternal figures.

"He asked me to take him to the water park last meeting," France said softly. "He needed an adult to accompany him and he asked me to go with me. I told him no and he went with one of the secret service staff. I am a horrible excuse for a father, I am neglecting my children."

Tears began streaming down Francis's face ashamed and heartbroken at all the pain that he must have put his son through. He dabbed at his eyes with a handkerchief from his pocket as he tried to hold in his tears feeling ashamed that he had hurt his sons so much and done so little for their happiness and wellbeing.

"He stopped asking me to take him places a long time ago," Arthur admitted somewhat softly. "The last time he asked me was about 100 years after his revolution and he asked me come to his Independence Day celebrations. I was a bit tipsy but I can clearly remember what I told him, it was horrible what I said."

"If we are bullies does that make you an abuser Opium?" China asked suddenly. "All the signs for child neglect and verbal abuse are there and they are pointing towards you. I have seen many parents like you who always claim themselves innocent of their sins-"

"How dare you!" England interrupted. "You have absolutely no right to call me a child abuser! I've done my very best for America, Canadia and all my other children. I've never and will never purposefully neglect any of my children. I may not be the perfect father but I have never fucking abused my children you arse!"

"Please calm down Angleterre," France said soothingly. "There is no reason to be angry, we all have our faults and that is why we are here, non? It is about placing our children first and taking care of them. I am also guilty of child neglect mon amour and what matters now is making up for our mistakes and showing the boys and all our other children how much we love them."

The other nations left the room going to bed to gather their thoughts. England and France remained for a few extra minutes staring at each other sadly. Francis got up first, kissed England's temple and then left the room quietly. Arthur broke down sobbing in the meeting room once he was sure no one was there feeling the sorrow eating up at him.

Francis stopped by the twins room on his way to his own and felt a little happier when he saw the two of them snuggled up together. He went into the room, adjusted the covers and gave both his son's a peck on the check.

"I love you my sons," Francis whispered softly. "I promise to be better."

"Papa," Matthew yawned as he half woke up. "What are you doing here?"

"I just came to check on you ma petite," Francis replied. "Go back to sleep."

"Stay?" Matthew asked sleepily.

"Of course." Francis agreed as he removed his shoes before crawling into the large bed with his sons. Matthew smiled sweetly before returning to sleep quickly followed by Francis.

8 Hours Later•

By now almost every nation was awake besides the blond trio curled up on the bed. Francis was the first to awaken and he half lay there watching his children sleep. He had been surprised to find Matthew on his chest with Alfred on his arm when he had woken up. The French nation had managed to take a few quick pics of them on his phone and had tried his best to wipe off the drool from his arm.

"Morning Papa," Matthew greeted. "Could you make some coffee please for Al? He won't get up if he knows that someone can prepare it for him, so lazy."

Matthew lifted himself off France's warm chest and did his best to get his brother off as well.

"Of course Mathieu," Francis agreed as he got up. "I presume he would prefer a lot of sugar, oui?"

Matthew nodded at his father, kicked off the sheets and did his best to wake Alfred up. Francis made a large cup of coffee for his son and placed the cup on the bedside table next to him.

"Mattie I smell coffee," Alfred mumbled sleepily. "It's so nice of you to make me coffee."

"You are smelling correctly ma petite," Francis said gently. "Perhaps if you awaken you will find it?"

Alfred sat straight up surprised at hearing France's voice in his room.

"Papa, I mean France" Alfred asked surprised as he squinted at a vaguely France shaped blob next to him.

"Yes it is me ma cher," Francis answered as he handed the youngest nation in the room his coffee. "And here is your coffee Alfred. You may call me Papa if you want to."

"Woah thanks um Papa," Alfred smiled shyly before taking a sip. "You're coffee is pretty yummy."

France kissed him on the forehead causing Alfred to blush lightly before repeating the process with Matthew. The man left the room happily to go get ready for the day quickly, wanting to cook for all the nations.

The French man made a breakfast consisting of croissant, tartine, fruit or andcafé au lait for the nations,

All the nations dressed casually that day and went to the meeting room to continue reading and have breakfast. China and Japan actually walked into the room together and although the air between them was still a little tense, there was progress. Italy and Germany entered together as customary without Romano and were soon followed by the North American twins. England strolled into the room a few minutes later looking even grumpier than usual and was soon followed by a tired looking Romano. Russia entered last and after eying his friend to make sure that he was okay he sat down.

"May I read today?" Japan volunteered.

Germany handed him the thick book and the Asian nation immediately began reading.

France may act like a lecherous pervert but he could never imagine sex without love and wouldn't sleep with someone he wasn't completely devoted to.

"Why is it that people think that I am rapist?" France lamented. "There is no love in rape, I am the country of love not that of rape. I don't be a pervert on occasion but I am not, have never been and will never be a rapist. I show love because the world needs it, because not everyone in the world has someone to love them."

Sometimes I wonder if I could just be as happy and carefree as Feliciano if I could find someone to love me like everyone loves him.

"Ve~ big brother Spain and I love you and so does everyone. You just don't want to acknowledge it Romano," The personification of North Italy said wisely. "You don't need to be alone, you'll never be alone if you have me."

"He didn't want me," Romano admitted. "Chigi he tried to exchange me for you, I was the second option when he couldn't get you from Austria. He wanted you and not me and I wouldn't be surprised if it's still the same. I'm just the second fucking choice and that's how it has always been. Why should I let people get close when they're only going to hurt me in the end?"

~Somewhere in Spain~

Antonio sneezed in his backyard, pausing while picking tomatoes.

"I wonder when my Lovi will be back. I shall pick him lots of tomatoes as a gift for him when he returns," Spain decided. "He'll be so happy with me, maybe he'll even give me a kiss."

Arthur took Matthew from Francis so Francis took Alfred away from Arthur.

France swallowed deeply as he remembered how vengeful and angry he had been in the past. America frowned slightly as he remembered that period in his life and how he had been forced to grow up so fast and how he had to readjust to not having a family. Alfred hadn't wanted to leave Arthur but America needed to leave England or he would have collapsed under all the taxes.

"I was so naive about my revolution. I thought that Arthur could still be my Daddy and that our relationship wouldn't be affected by the war but I was wrong. Even if I had known that our relationship would have been irrevocably damaged I still would have gone through with it, my country must always come first." The blue eyed blond lamented.

"This entry is scarily correct," France thought. "I just used him for my own selfish benefit. It's one thing to ally with him but it is another entirely to come live with him and another entirely to still not treat him as my son."

Matthew closed his eyes as he remembered how alone and cold that he had felt during his twin's revolution. Arthur had wanted nothing to do with Matthew and had hardly ever talked to him except to forbid him from talking to either Francis or Alfred. Arthur on the other hand felt nothing but regret on how callously he had treated his son at the time and how he had neglected the other one.

The other nations shifted in their seats awkwardly unsure what to say to break the tension. The four members of the FACE family remained silent and Japan quickly took the silent cue to continue reading.

Dear diary, I wish people would stop judging me due to my Soviet days. Don't they get it? I suffered as well and calling me a monster. Those were my boss's decisions, not mine. Russia.

"I don't hate you commie bastard," Alfred said. "But you're still my commie bastard."

Russia smiled knowing that he would always have a friend in America no matter what. Japan wrote in a little notebook under the desk recording all the RusAme, even if it was only friendly it was still cute and also terrifying. The rest of the gathered personifications (minus England, Germany and Romano who didn't do smiling) smiled at the Russian hesitantly trying to portray their apology. Russia how was just happy to receive any positive affection smiled happily feeling contented.

America is naturally a very cuddly and sometimes clingy country. He likes sitting close to people, giving and receiving hugs and basically any type positive of physical affection, even a pat on the shoulder from the right person can make him smile. Part of it is due to the lack of affection from Native America but it's still mostly him. At the moment the only nation that he feels completely comfortable with is his brother, Canada.

Canada immediately placed his hand on his brother's shoulder in response to the entry making America actually flash him a small but geniune smile.

"That actually explains a lot," Canada thought. "He can be really clingy like that day he refused to be further than 30 feet from me however it does feels nice to be needed and wanted and it is extremely cute though.

4000 years I cannot help but feel how much the world has changed. It feels like all those years have been a blur, as if time has been moving too fast. I can remember it clearly, the day that my little brother betrayed me. As of lately it seems as if most of my family seems to hate me as well. It is at times like these that I wish that I could return to peaceful days. China.

"China- san, ani-san I do not hate you," Japan apologized. "I never meant for you to believe that I hated you. Gomen'nasai ani-san, I hope that we can start again."

China looked at Japan hopefully and smiled at him before hiding it under his sleeve.

"Maybe we can get there again," China said wisely. "Our relationship may never be the same again but what first appears as a calamity may later bring good fortune."

Japan nodded in acknowledgement as the small flame of hope in his chest expanded. Although you couldn't tell by looking at his face his eyes spoke volumes. The brown eyed man continued reading sounding a bit happier.

England keeps a box of America and Canada's old toys and baby clothes in the storage room. Every now and then he locks himself in there and goes through the box, remembering all the memories of his little colonies.

"I don't know how to feel about Arthur any more," Alfred thought conflicted. "He sounds like he really cares about us in the diary entries but he doesn't actually treat us like he cares in real life. It's hard, it's really hard to wake up everyday and not know know whether or not your parents love you. I guess that I just wasn't meant for parental love and affection, at least I have Mattie, I just hope that he doesn't get tired of me too. I don't like being alone with no one to hug me when I'm sad or laugh with me when I'm happy. I may need alot of physical reassurance and I am a bit clingy but does that mean that I don't need my Daddy? Did I drive him away? Is it my fault? I wish I knew what I was doing wrong and could fix it. Is it my mask? Because I always secretly hoped that Daddy would be able to see through my facade and wouldn't actually think that's the way I actually behave."

"I don't understand why he would cry for me when he didn't even spend much time with me when I was small enough to fit those clothes. He'd always rather spend time moping about Alfie's independence or fighting with Papa than playing with me. It was always I'll play later Canada or not now Matthew," The Canadian thought bitterly. "When all four of us lived together it was really fun, Papa or Arthur were always there to take care of us and we were not worried about how long our food supply would last. I really miss those days. Its like I disappeared completely during my brother's revolution and I can't really blame Alfred for that. The taxes were ridiculous and Alfred always seemed really skittish around Papa or Arthur the moment they raised their voices. He'd always hide or runaway during their arguments which became especially prevalent the more Arthur raised the taxes. I always wondered if something was wrong with him but I just couldn't get him to admit it. I have a hunch that it has something to do with our Mother, if only I knew how to get him to talk about it, I don't want him to hurt anymore if I can help it."

The other nations shifted in their seats again unsure what to say to break the ice. Germany gestured to Japan to continue reading and break up the staring contest between France and England.

The CSA never had a separate nation, America just has split personalities. He's also terrified it'll happen again because he can still hear the Confederacy sometimes. He is still on medication for MPD, as well as depression.

"Alfred, I didn't know," Matthew gasped. "I, I would've been there for you. I'm so sorry Al, I-"

"It's okay Mattie," Alfred interjected as he played with the hem of his shirt. "You didn't know and it doesn't matter anymore I have it perfectly under control, mostly."

"If you ever need help I'll help you anyway that I can," Matthew promised. "Just call me if you need anything I'll hop on a plane right away."

"Are you sure that you're okay poppet?" Arthur asked concerned.

The other nations were actually quite surprised at the soft, fatherly tone in Arthur's voice as it was once that they had only rarely heard in the past.

"I'm fine," Alfred reassured as he reached into his pocket and fingered a bottle of medication which he hadn't yet taken. "I haven't had any incidents in a while, sometimes when I get really stressed I can hear the whispers but otherwise I haven't had any major incidents."

"Ve~ pasta always makes me feel better, I'm sure that it can help you feel better," Italy blurted out. "I can make you some to go home with if you want."

"I have some tips that you can have on how to reduce stress," Germany offered. "They don't always work for me but perhaps they can help you."

"Perhaps some herbal tea will help to soothe your anxiety. I can give you the recipe for my favorite ones." China added.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it." America smiled.

Only Canada is close enough to America to be allowed to call him Alfie. And likewise for America to be allowed to call him Mattie.

The boys grinned at each other and exchanged high fives proud that they has gotten to that point in there relationship.

Japan isn't comfortable with people touching him, it wasn't always that way. Actually before the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki Japan loved hugs, especially from America. But ever since World War 2 Japan doesn't trust anyone anymore. Because the one that he trusted the most ended up hurting him the most in the end and America will never forgive himself for that.

America's shoulders instantly fell feeling deeply distressed about the pain that he had put his once best friend in.

"I'm sorry," America apologized frantically. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't hate me, please."

"America- kun I do not hate you, I think perhaps we can start putting the past being us?" Japan suggested. "I understand now that were at war and as a nation it is your responsibility to put your nation first. I am also at fault for attacking Pearl Harbor and dragging you into a war that you had no intention of officially joining. You were doing what was best for you and your people and being a hero to them.There is no reason why we cannot try to reconnect and be like we used to."

"Really?" America asked hopefully.

The Japanese nation nodded earnestly and America had to resist the urge to jump across the table and hug him.

"Thank you," Alfred breathed. "I promise that I won't mess up this time."

Germany once asked Romano to show him how to make pasta. The reason for this was to surprise Italy for their upcoming picnic. Romano refused at first but Germany begged him. He finally agreed to show him and in the end the pasta came out really well. Romano was rather proud of Germany and actually gave him a compliment for once.

"Ve~ fratello that was so nice!" Italy exclaimed. "Germany made very good pasta for me thank you."

Romano felt a warm feeling bubble up in his chest feeling proud that he had done something beneficial for his brother.

"I didn't do it because I wanted to, the potato bastard was just been annoying." Romano countered.

"Big brother loves me!" Italy shouted as he hugged his unwilling brother.

"Get of me bastard!" Romano demanded half heartedly.

The other nations laughed at the sight.

Even if the whole world forgets who he is or even that he exists Canada knows that America, his baby brother will never forget.

The other nations felt very guilty, especially the boy's parents for making him feel worthless and they all apologized to him.

"It's okay," Canada said quite flustered by all the attention. "I know that it wasn't purposeful."

"You're so nice and polite," America whispered. "I know so many people that wouldn't accept that apology, myself included. I guess that makes you the nice twin."

The purple eyed twin rolled his eyes playfully at his blue eyed brother. Alfred childishly stuck his tongue out at his brother in retaliation. Francis, who had been observing the twins the the majority of the meeting smiled fondly at seeing the two getting along and behaving the youths that they are.

Contrary to popular belief America is actually really, really intelligent.

Every single jaw in the room dropped except for those of Canada, Russia and Japan who had always suspected something was off about his video game partner.

Though he only pays attention to, or is interested in fields or subjects where his curiosities lie and his attention span can be really short he isn't a fool. Even though he doesn't say it, he has an extreme thirst for more knowledge and understanding. He really loves science and all its related branches.

"So you're not a complete idiot?" England asked shocked.

Alfred pursed his lips feeling a little upset and gave his once father a curt nod.

"So why do you act like such an obnoxious git?" Arthur continued. "If you have brains in your head use it and stop acting so obnoxious and ignorant all the time."

Alfred took a deep breath in and tried to restrain his emotions becuae no matter how much he tried to hate his former colonized he couldn't. There were nights when the teenager would lay awake on his bed wondering where he went wrong and why he had been left without a father in his life. No matter how much he tried to hide it Arthur's insults always hurt the most.

America bent his head letting his hair cast a dark shadow over his depressed looking, sea blue eyes. He bit his lower lip hard to keep himself from blurting out something he'd regret later and he discreetly wiped his watery eyes.

"Are you okay?" Canada whispered to his twin softly as he rested his hand on his shoulder.

Alfred gave his brother a quick nod as well enjoying the comfort that the hand gave him.

"Uh England- san perhaps you should listen to the next entry first." Japan suggested seeing as America- kun had no intention of answering.

America feels incredibly lonely all the time. He only acts obnoxious because he feels that doing so is the only way anyone will pay attention to him. The fact that everyone is so quick to dash his ideas hurts him more than he'll ever let on.

"Alfred," Arthur began. "I-"

"Don't call me that!" America exclaimed.

"What?" England asked. "*Alfred?"

"Yes. I'm tired of being hurt by you and giving you second and third and fourth chances England! Every time I do it just comes back to bite me in the ass. I love you England, I really do and you were a father to me once but I think it's time that we both let go of those memories. Please just leave me alone from now on." America pleaded in an surpisingly soft voice.

Awkward silence reigned over the table as everyone waited for Arthur's response. Matthew squeezed his brother's should reassuring him that he would still be there no matter what, while Francis looked back and forth between the blonds conflicted. China nodded approvingly while Russia fingered his magical pipe of pain ready to use in the defense of his friend whether he wanted it or not should the opportunity arise. The Italies glanced at each other and silently promised to never get to that point. Germany sat silently hoping that he would never, ever fight like that with his own brother. Japan who had gotten to that point at with China and knew that feeling all too well silently apologized to his older brother.

Arthur said nothing but the wide array of emotions on his face spoke volumes, far more than any words ever could. It spoke of a man who regretted everything that he had ever done and wished that there was something that he could do to rectify the problem.

"May I please be excused Germany?" Alfred asked quietly.

"You may leave America," Germany stated. "You may go as well Canada."

The Canadian nation visibly jumped very surprised that he was actually seen as he had planned to use his invisibility to sneak out. The twins left the room and walked out to the park across the street, hiding in the thickest part of the woods.

"Damn bastard you just fucked up and destroyed a little kid's heart," Romano stated bluntly. "Congratu- fucking- lations you must really sleep well at night asshole."

"Romano be nice," Feliciano chided gently. "Ve~ maybe pasta will make everyone feel better."

"Italy- kun I don't think that pasta can help this time," Japan replied somberly. "I don't know what can."

"I think that a break is in order," Germany said. "We shall return in 15 minutes and continue with the entries with no further interruption. At this rate I can't see us finishing this book in the foreseeable future. Our meeting time is almost over and our bosses and other nations might get suspicious if we ask to stay here any longer. The South American countries have reserved this venue for their monthly meeting and it would not be possible to remain here. Does anyone have any suggestions as to where we can relocate?"

"Maybe Mr. America can house us?" Italy suggested.

"America -kun those own several houses scattered around his country," Japan offered. "However I am unsure if he would be able to accommodate such a large group of us but there is no harm in asking."

~Hello I'm line break can I have cookie?~

"Mattie did I do the right thing?" Alfred ask softly as he settled in the lower branches of a tree.

"Alfie no matter what you do I know that you wouldn't do it without reason and I trust you. I don't think that you would make such a big decision like that without thinking about it long and hard. It's normal after being hurt to push that person a way, you just don't want to get hurt again Alfred. I just want you to know that I'll always be there for you," Matthew promised wholeheartedly. "I love you Alfie even if I don't always show it I promise to be there for you."

Matthew joined his brother on the tree branch and gave him a side hug trying to show him how much he cared. Alfred dropped his head onto Matthew's shoulder feeling absolutely spent and exhausted although it was only 11:30 in the morning.

"Pinkie promise?" Alfred asked sounding vulnerable as he put his pinkie out.

"Pinkie promise," Matthew agreed as he joined their pinkies. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

"Did you just rip off Pinkie Pie?" The younger twin inquired with a perfectly raised eyebrow.

"Maybe," Matthew giggled. "Ready to go back or do you want to grab something at the Starbuck's around the corner? I mean it's no Tim Horton's but I guess that it's okay."

"Last one there buys," Alfred challenged. "And Starbucks is way more awesome than Tim Horton's."

"Deal," Matthew agreed. "And Tim is a lot better than Starbucks. So on what count do we run?"

The blue eyed nation grinned before taking off suddenly much to the surprise of his brother.

"That's cheating!" Matthew called out as he began to chase his brother.

"All's fair in love and war!" Alfred shouted over his shoulder as he began to speed up.

"Aww what a pair of cute boys," An elderly woman commented to herself as the boys ran past her. "So young, happy and free. They remind me of the boys at that age before George passed away. I hope that their parents appreciate them because soon they'll grow up and regret not being there for them, I wish that I'd done that with my boys."

"I win!" Alfred exclaimed as he barreled into the door. "I want a venti double chocolaty chip crème frappuccino with extra sugar please Mattie."

Matthew stuck out his tongue at his brother as he came in a few seconds after his brother pouting slightly. The boy rolled his purple eyes at his grinning brother and went up to the cashier.

"Good morning Sir what can I get you today?" The Starbucks employee said blandly clearly wishing he could be at home playing video games.

"I'd like a venti double chocolaty chip crème frappuccino with extra sugar and a Grande vanilla latte and I'd like to try a tall cherry blossom frappuccino please," Matthew requested. "Under the name Matthew."

"That will be $10.30 please Sir." The employee replied sounding tired of his job.

Matthew handed the cashier exact change and went to stand next to his brother who flashing him a genuine smile that he hasn't seen in a while. The boys sat on the tall bar stools close to the counter so that they would be close to their order. Alfred was kicking his legs back and forth much like a child to the endearment of a few of his citizens who were subtly cooing at him.

"Matthew, order for Matthew is ready so like come and get it dude." The employee said.

"Thank you," Matthew answered as he retrieved the drinks and handed one to his brother. "Here you go Alfie."

"Thanks Mattie," Alfred chirped as he received his drink. "Your drink kind of reminds me of Keeks."

"It those strikingly resemble his cherry blossom festival," The Canadian acknowledged. "Are you blushing?"

"No," Alfred denied as he tried to hide his pink cheeks with his large drink. "I wanna go get something in the flower shop over there."

"Are you and Kiku going on a date?" Matthew teased. "Are you getting him chocolates too? Ooh maybe a promise ring?"

"No its for the old lady on the bench that we passed, she looked really sad and lonely," America replied. "Maybe some flowers will brighten her day."

"That's really kind of you," Matthew praised. "You are have a good heart Alfie, I'm not sure if a lot of today's teens would do something like that."

"Thanks," Alfred blushed. "If I was alone I'd want someone to do the same thing for me."

"Hello good morning what can I get for you today?" A young teen asked perkily from behind the counter.

"I'd like a bouquet made of aloe, basil, holly and um horehound and lily." Alfred ordered.

"Someone clearly did there research!" The cashier chirped. "That will be $15 and a 5 minute wait, we actually had a bouquet like that prepared for a client but they canceled."

"Can I taste your drink Mattie?" Alfred asked suddenly.

"Only if I can taste yours in return," Matthew replied.

The twins swapped drinks and took a sip from the other's cup.

"Yummy," Alfred smiled. "I'll definitely get this next time."

"Its a bit sweet," Matthew admitted. "But its okay, not as good as anything that Tim has but its pretty good."

"Here you go Sir! I hope you have a good day!" The cashier said happily.

"Thank you too Ma'am I hope you have a great day and continue being you." Alfred encouraged as he paid the cashier and retrieved the bouquet.

The two walked out of the store leaving a blushing cashier and went to the old woman.

"Morning Ma'am," Alfred greeted as he sat down beside her. "How are you doing today?"

"Good morning Miss." Matthew greeted also as he sat down on the other side of her.

The two boys spent the next few minutes chatting with the old lady and giving her the strength to keep on living.

"Thank you you boys for giving an old woman the time of day," She smiled. "I'm sure your parents must be wondering where you went to, they're so lucky to have children like you."

"Umm thanks," Alfred blushed. "Anytime Ma'am and you're right out break is probably over by now."

Matthew kissed her on the cheek and told her goodbye and left. Alfred skipped along the way and sipped his drink. The closer the American got to the meeting room, the more somber and despondent he became until he seemed to curl into himself. America bit his lip and looked at his brother hesitantly before Matthew took the cue and grabbed his brother's hand reassuringly. The boys entered the building together,went straight to the elevator and up to the meeting room. America had to consciously force himself not to crush Matthew's hand and reduce his bones to dust due to his nervousness.

"It's alright Al," Matthew said reassuringly. "I promise that everything will be alright and I'll be there for you no matter what."

"I love you so much Mattie. You're the only person that I've ever been able to to feel completely comfortable with," Alfred admitted. "Thanks for always being there for me and not rejecting me like everyone else does. It just me and you against the world big brother!"

Canada felt his heart swell and practically beamed at his brother. The elevator dinged and both boys walked out confidently still holding hands and went to the meeting room. England, France and Russia were curently missing from the room, Russia was probably cooking but it as anyone's guess as to where FrUk was.

"Hey guys," America greeted as he bounced into the room. "What's up?"

"We were waiting for you to start," Germany said. "We may continue now and shall eat during lunch if we are to ever finish the book. America is there a place that you could possibly host us for an unknown period of time."

"Umm I think that my house in Virginia and my Texas ranch can hold everyone. But then again Canada and Russia might melt in Texas so Virgina would probably be best," Alfred mused. "Yeah that will probably be the best option plus it's closer."

"Thank you that is very generous of you America-kun." Japan thanked.

"No problem Keeks," America waved off. "Now on to those diary entries."

Author's Note

I swear that this chapter will continue to 10k words and ouldnt be published till December at the this rate. I just don't really know how to write stories, I always go over the word limit on exams. So have this trash and although this is probably cringey af (I know swear jar) I did my best and that's what counts right? My chapters will probably get short because school starts soon and I write my standardized tests in January and then later in June. So lots of studying and cramming for me. So hey~ love you guys very much for supporting my book. So love it or hate it in publishing it and holding I didn't miss any typos.

*Oh and there's a heacannon that when other nations use each other's first name it means that they're either really close (friends/ relationships), family or its a sign of disrespect. The total word count is 6366.

Bye guys until next time~


	7. Chapter 6

_Italics- Hand Signs_

 **Bold- Diary Entries**

The nations sat around the table waiting for the other missing nations to join them. America was typing away on his phone making arrangements for the other nations to stay with him for an extended period of time. Canada sat next to his brother playing a game on his phone and quietly adding his input on how to be able to properly house the nations. Japan was catching up on his paperwork along with Germany while the two Italians sat next to each other silently.

Russia rolled a tray of food into the room smiling happy to be able to cook for his friends. An upset England and a quiet France struggled into the room a few minutes later and sat in their respective seats. Russia happily served the nations making sure to give America a bit more as he had noticed that he hadn't eaten much at breakfast.

"Can I read?" Alfred asked knowing it would give him an excuse not to eat as much.

"Of course," France said as he handed the younger nation the book.

 **Dear Diary,**

 **Mon petite Matthieu is such a bright child. He's picking up French very quickly and has taken to following me everywhere, pointing at things and asking me to teach him the right words for them. He's very talkative when he wants to be and he's got such a sweet little voice! He sounds like a little bird, so cute!**

 **France**

"And you are still very cute ma enfant like a miniature version of your Papa Matthieu," Francis cooed. "You are going to grow up to be a heartbreaker, all the ladies and gentlemen will be after you. Just make sure to use protection when you become sexually active Matthieu, you never know what nasty diseases you can get."

"Oh my God Papa!" Matthew exclaimed with a red blush. "Don't say stuff like that its embarrassing."

"Ohonohonhon," Francis laughed. "Your old Papa can teach you a thing or two."

The other nations laughed at Matthew's misfortune except Arthur who remained stubbornly blank faced.

 **Dear Diary,**

 **Today, a little girl came up to me and said that she wanted to be a marine. When I asked her why she said "I want to give back to the country that has given so much to me." Her great grandparents were German immigrants and she was proud of her heritage and of being an American. Its people like her that reassure me that America is great.**

 **America**

Alfred smiled softly at the memory because it was people like her who gave him the will to keep living.

"Did she become one?" Germany inquired.

"Yup, she actually became a Colonel before retiring after 30 years of service." America said proudly.

 **Dear Diary,**

 **I thought raising one boy was a challenge but that was before I had two. Just today, I had some errands to run in town so I left the boys alone at home, seeing as they were playing quietly by themselves. But when I arrived home, i found them covered in dirt after spending the afternoon playing in the mud outside! I scolded them for making the mess of course but just between me and you it was a rather endearing sight.**

 **England**

Arthur's serious face melted right off into a loving smile as he remembered the fun he had raising two very active little boys.

"It feels like only yesterday I was bathing them and scrubbing the dried mud of their hair. They fell asleep in the bathtub together, the poor things were completely exhausted, couldn't even stay awake long enough to have something to eat," Arthur thought before his smile dropped. "I had to leave the next day unfortunately, France does have a point I was neglectful. The only reason I had to leave them that day was to get food because the cupboards were empty in after my long absense."

 **Dear Diary,**

 **Why does everyone think I'm stupid? I'm an artist and artists need to see and know a lot. Just because I'm always smiling and trying to be happy doesn't make me an idiot.**

 **Italy.**

"Chigi, off course my fratello isn't a fucking idiot, except when it comes to liking the potato bastard," Romano mumbled as he crossed his arms. "Stupid potato bastard infecting my fratello with his stupidity."

"Ve~ fratello is so nice to me!" Feliciano sniffed. "I love you too big brother!"

Romano made a tsk noise as he handed Feliciano a tissue to wipe his tears while rolling his eyes affectionately.

"I love you too fratello," Romano finally said. "Besides your taste in boyfriend you're pretty fucking intelligent. A damn genius actually.

"Italy? Can I ask you a question?" China asked.

"Ve~ sure Mr. China." Italy agreed.

"Exactly how smart are you? What is your IQ?" China questioned.

Italy opened his mouth to respond but he was interrupted by a new note floating down from the ceiling. Alfred picked up the note being the closest to it and read it.

 **Because I know that my dear grandson wouldn't give an exact number I have taken the opportunity to actually tell you. Italy's IQ is 155.**

"Really?" Germany asked confirming. "That's a very good IQ Feliciano."

For almost five years after WWII, Matthew called Francis weekly to make sure he was healing and recovering properly.

France smiled happily before drawing his Canadian son into a hug.

"Thank you my son," Francis said. "I love you."

"I love you too Papa." Matthew said as he patted his fathers back.

"I want a relationship like that with one of my children," Arthur thought bitterly. "He makes it look so easy and simple. Its bloody unfair, if I tried that with Alfred he might shove me away. And heavens knows I don't see Matthew often enough to do something like that."

Japan and the USA: proof that even former enemies can be the best of friends.

"We're best friends?" Alfred thought surprised. "He really thinks I'm his best friend? He likes me that much?"

Japan blushed not looking at China's knowing look instead choosing to focus on the well made meeting table. Alfred broke into a wide smile, beaming and showing off his pearly white teeth.

Alfred read the next entry to himself before deciding to skip it, he didn't want to seem even weaker in from of the other nations that he already was. After all as far as he was concerned he wasn't depressed just a little sad and lonely.

America calls-

"You missed one Alfred." Canada interrupted.

"No I didn't." Alfred insisted before continuing reading.

America calls both Feliciano and Romano-

Canada plucked the book from his brother's hands and read the entry himself ignoring his brother's weak protests.

 **Dear Diary,**

 **On the outside it may seem like I'm this happy to lucky idiot who thinks of ideas such as the superhero Globoman. But on the inside I'm lonely, depressed and wish I hadn't pushed so many people away.**

 **America.**

"Uhm that entry isn't mine," Alfred protested as he waved his hands. "I'm happy, I'm happy, I really am."

"The book hasn't steered is wrong yet so I'm going to trust it." Canada said.

"I think we've established that you aren't an idiot," France said softly. "And you don't have to be lonely anymore, we'll be here for you. If nothing else this reading has brought and will bring us all closer together. And what's family for if they can't help you through depression?"

"Yeah we'll all be a big family now!" Italy exclaimed. "Big brother France is right, let's not right anymore."

 **America calls both Feliciano and Romano Italy and they both secretly like it.**

"It makes me feel like I'm not just an extra puzzle piece in an already finished puzzle. Like I wasn't just a mistake," Romano thought still scowling. "Why the fuck am I here anyways? There's already one personification for Italy, two aren't fucking needed. And its obvious that I'm the one who isn't fucking needed, I'm irrelevant."

"-mano? Romano!?" Feliciano said as he pulled Romano from his thoughts. "You okay fratello?"

"I'm fucking fine," Romano snapped. "Lets fucking continue."

"Ve~ fratello you seem upset," North Italy pointed out. "Is it the entry?

"If I may make a suggestion," Japan spoke up. "I apologize for sounding rude but perhaps he should refer to Feliciano as North Italy and Romano as South Italy, much like how the German brothers refer to each other as West and East."

"That does sound sensible considering they are both the personifications of Italy." Germany agreed.

One by one the other personifications agreed not even knowing exactly how much it meant to Romano.

"Ve~ big brother you're South now!" North Italy cheered as he hugged South Italy.

"...get the fuck off." Lovino mumbled as he forced down his emotions.

"Awww big brother are you crying?" Feliciano asked as he looked at Lovino's glassy eyes. "Its okay bug brother, don't cry. Hug therapy will make you feel better."

"I'm not fucking crying," Romano denied as he wiped his eyes. "There's something in my fucking eye."

"You're not irrelevant South," Feliciano whispered knowing exactly what was going through his brothers mind. "You're needed and wanted."

A note floated down from the ceiling and onto Canada's lap drawing the other nations attention to him.

"What does it say Mattie?" Alfred asked.

 **"Dear nations we have collectively decided that we shall bring Spain, the personification of Spain, Antonio to the meeting room. While for the most part he is mentally stable South Italy needs another shoulder to lean on. He shall pop up sometime today."**

 **The Roman Empire.**

Romano scowled briefly not wanting to see Antonio in case he had a moment of weakness, well even more than usual in front of Antonio.

 **Dear Diary,**

 **I'm not as angry and sullen as everyone thinks. I act that way to draw attention to myself because its the only way I can get noticed when Fratello's around.**

 **South Italy**

"Aww my little tomato." Spain said as he hugged Romano from behind.

"Gahhh!" Romano yelled as he turned around and punched Spain in the nose surprise. "What the fuck tomato bastard!?"

Spain clutched his nose still hugging Romano.

"Don't fucking sneak up on me asshole!" Romano demanded as he crossed his arms.

"I'm sorry my tomato," Spain apologized. "I did not mean to scare you."

The Southern part of Italy grunted as he leaned into Spain's arms much to Spain's pleasure.

 **Feliciano may be better at many things than Romano however Romano is actually a better cook.**

"That's true my little tomato is a wonderful cook!" Spain said as he pulled Romano into his lap. "He makes the best - ever."

Romano rolled his eyes as he inspected the quality of the tomato Spain had just handed him.

 **The only reason Italy acts so silly is to put smiles on other people's faces.**

Alfred glanced over at Feliciano surprised, because that was quite similar to what he did. Italy gave him a small smile and a nod showing that he also understood Alfred.

 **Dear Diary,**

 **I caught Romano crying again. He wouldn't tell why or whats wrong. He just stands there crying.**

 **Spain**

"Won't you tell me Lovi?" Spain asked sadly. "I want to make you feel better."

"What the fuck do you want me to tell you! Huh? That I'm fucking insecure and know you tried to trade me for Feli?" Romano thought bitterly. "Because I won't fucking do it."

Whenever Romano is upset and crying, Spain tries everything he can get him to stop because he can't stand when Romano cries. And on the rare occassio when Spain cries, Romano does everyhting he can do to get him to stop, because he doesn't know what he would do if Spain stopped smiling.

"Even if you won't tell me why you cry, I do love and appreciate everything you do for me," Spain said smiling lovingly. "As long as you are with me I won't ever stop smiling."

"Aww that's so sweet." France thought.

Romano blushed darkly, avoiding everyone's eyes and looked down at his well manicured nails.

Ludwig purposefully wore light colors for years after WWII. He needed to create a new, cleaner image for himself and his people.

"Ve~ you looked nicer in bright colors Ludwig." Italy beamed.

"I remember that. You always wore light blues and yellows." Alfred said.

"And white and green." Matthew added.

"The lighter blues brought out your eyes nicely." Japan complimented.

"Thank you," Germany said with a blush. "Let us continue the reading."

 **Dear Diary,**

 **I can't believe Canada put up with me for a week after we went to see Paranormal Activity 3. He really is the best brother/teddy bear ever.**

 **America**

"Did you seriously write the word teddy bear in there?" Canada asked exasperated.

"Maybe." Alfred mumbled as he scouted closer to his brother.

"Well I guess I kinda was," Canada reminensed as he placed a hand of Alfred's leg. "You refused to sleep on your own that night claiming you had to protect me from the movie. Wouldn't even let me stay more than one room away from you."

"...I wasn't scared." Alfred lied. "I was protecting you."

"You're lucky you're my brother and I love you or I'd ditch you." Canada admitted.

 **Dear England,**

 **Why don't you love me like you love America? Am I not good enough for you? Am I really your son?**

 **Canada**

"Poppet of course you're my son and I do love you," Arthur reassured. "You're more than good enough for me or for anyone."

Canada glanced at England and while he could see the sincerity in the older nation's eyes he was afraid to believe him and get broken again. Only his brother and occasionally Papa had been there for him and withstood the test of time.

 **Sexuality isn't incredibly important to the Nations but America likes the guys while Canada tends to lean more towards the ladies. However they will swing the other way for the right person. Everyone assumes otherwise.**

Japan's eyes widened ever so slightly as a light blush dusted his cheeks.

"A lady killer just like your Papa oui?" France asked with a wiggkenof his eyebrows.

Canada rolled his eyes in the his father not looking him directly however.

 **Dear Diary,**

 **Kiku beat me in Chinese checkers today. I will beat him next time through. BECAUSE I AM CHINA!**

"That doesn't mean you have to win China-san," Japan said. "It takes more than that."

"It is a disgrace aru!" China exclaimed. "China is not allowed to loose Chinese checkers! It is named after me therefore I should be an expert at the game."

 **Dear Diary,**

 **America-san asked me to say 'election' today... and burst out laughing when i did so ... I do not understand wht is so funny ... Someone please explain?**

 **Japan**

"Its because he's immature," Canada explained with a roll of his eyes. "And you 'L' sounds like an 'R' and it sounds like uh another word."

"Oh," Japan blushed as he put 2 and 2 together. "I did not realize."

"Immature western nations aru." China said with a roll of his eyes

I learned a lesson today. Even if you put on a fake smile, your real friends know something is wrong. Italy.

"That is what real friends are supposed to do," Japan said with a small glimmer of happiness in his dark brown eyes.

"Ve~ we're best friends!" Italy said with a wide smile.

When China was a child no ations were around to take care of him. That's why he holds onto family like he does, because he doesn't want them to be lonely like he was.

"Is he lonely now?" Kiku thought. "I should try to be a better friend? Little brother? To him. What are we at this point? Can I call him my brother after I betrayed him like that?"

 **Dear Diary,**

 **Why can't Avatar: The Last Airbender come out in Japanese dub already? It is hard being on the other end of the stick. I don't know how America deals with it.**

 **Japan**

"You'll get through it Keeks," Alfred said sympathetically. "I've lasted you can too. It sucks to have to read while also trying to see all the action going on and not miss any minor details but it comes with practice."

Japan nodded although he would still rather the sun he would have to make due with the dub for now.

 **It has been recorded that many outbreaks of yellow fever from 1668 to 1853 occurred in the US. The first outbreak started in New York of 1668. America was still a child, living in England's house alone. England was away on a business trip, so America was left to deal with the outbreak by himself. That's why Canada would sneak over to England's house to help America deal with the yellow fever.**

"Thanks again Mattie, dealing with that one my own sucked." Alfred said.

"Its fine Al, I wanted to make sure you were okay. It was unfortunate however that you kept catching most of the outbreaks and needed to be on bed rest for most of the times. You probably would have starved to death." Canada said.

"Probably, especially when if I ever got to stage 3," Alfred thought with a wince. "Seizures suck

"Maybe they need parenting classes," China contemplated. "Canada and America were born during the height of his empire and at the time I am not sure if he had any want to take care of more children? Well who better to give him classes than someone as wise and mature as me?"

 **Dear Diary,**

 **Today will be the day I am noticed by someone.**

 **Canada**

"...were you?" Italy asked breaking the awkward silence.

"No, except for Alfred but he always sees me." Canada mumbled.

"The hero can never forget his sidekick!" Alfred announced. "That's like Batman without Robin or peanut butter without jelly!"

Canada smiled softly as he blinked away a few years reassured that his brother would always be there for him.

"Maybe I'm being selfish," Canada thought. "At least one person always sees me, at least Alfred does. He won't ever forget me or leave me behind. Right? He wouldn't abandon me or ignore me on purpose."

A cold feeling gripped Canada's heart at the fear of being alone with no one else to talk to. It was one of his greatest fears that one day he would wake up and be invisible to everyone, even his own people and family.

"You okay Mattie?" Alfred asked he took a break in his ramblings to glance at his brother's fear striken face.

"I- I'm fine," Canada mumbled as turned his face away from Alfred. "I'm fine."

" _I know you're not,"_ Alfred signed. _"I know you well enough to know when you're scared."_

 _"Promise you won't leave me?"_ Matthew signed after a 5 minute pause. " _Please?"_

" _Of course I wouldn't big brother , we're in this long ride called life together."_ Alfred replied.

"What the fuck are they doing with their hands?" Romano questioned.

"I think it is American Sign Language, they're communicating," Spain explained. "I wonder what they're saying."

 _"You really mean that?"_ Matthew asked.

In response Alfred hugged his older brother trying to pour all his love and affection into it. Matthew wrapped his arms back around Alfred clinging to him hoping and praying that Alfred would never, ever abandon him. France cooed quietly in the corner taking a few quick pictures.

 **Dear Diary,**

 **I sort of wish I was closer with the Italy brothers, I want to tell them stories of their grandfather. I don't really know if its a good idea or nor, it might bring up bad memories. If Romano is anything like his grandfather, there will be tears. For now I'll keep my stories of Rome to myself, it's probably for the best.**

 **China.**

"I wouldn't fucking cry bastard!" Lovino denied. "Maybe Feliciano but I wouldn't fucking do that!"

"Ve~ can you tell us about Grandpa Rome later?" Feliciano begged.

"Maybe later aru, I have plenty of stories to tell about him," China agreed. "I am sure it will keep you interested."

 **Dear Diary,**

 **I wonder sometimes just how it is that Alfred and Matthew have become so successful at winter sports. They certainly didn't get it from me - or from the Frog, for the matter! No one else in the family is as good as those two. Of course, it can simply be the climate but ... I wonder. I know some nations think that the boys simply did not appear when Francis and I found them, but that they were actually fathered by the Nordics centuries before we got to the New World. Can it be?**

 **England.**

"Well actually archeologists and historians have figured out that there was a settlement on our lands about 500 years before Christopher Columbus-" Alfred started.

"-and it as discovered to be a Nordic settlement named Vinland." Matthew finished.

"Did you tell them?" France asked curiously.

"No, we didn't think it was necessary," Matthew admitted. "And besides how would you even start that conversation?"

"Like hey remember that colony you built a couple hundred years ago? Well we popped out a few years later although by that time your colony was kinda dying and you'd abandoned it so you have no clue existed.

"Wait how old are you two are?" China asked.

"Well I'm 150," Canada began. "And Alfred is-"

"No your time since the Nordics landed." China interrupted.

The twins shared a look before saying in union. "1025 years give or take."

"Freaky." Romano mumbled hearing them say that in union

"But that time doesn't count since we weren't independent," Canada shrugged. "And we didn't age or grow then, stuck in the bodies and minds of toddlers."

"You should tell them Ve~ family is important," Italy said. "I think they'd like to know."

Alfred and Matthew shared a glance mentally communicating with their eyes.

"Maybe later after this diary thing is all sorted out." Alfred said finally.

 **"Dear Diary, sometimes I really envy Mattie. His ability to just disappear. Sure it must suck for him to not always be noticed, but he has the ability to be. Granted most of the time he's actually noticed it's during a hockey game but he can do it. Me? I can't ever get people to forget me, and I am blamed for everything, hated for the things I try to do right because of it. Sometimes I get tired, and sometimes? Sometimes I just don't want people to know I'm there."**

Everyone looked to Alfred with wide eyes. Alfred sunk down in his seat uncomfortable with all the stares and attention he was currently receiving. Matthew looked at his younger brother sadly. While he knew his brother didn't like all the attention he got, and he knew that his Alfred was more of an introvert and he was blamed for a lot of things he never thought it would be that bad. The Canadian never knew that his American twin wanted to disappear. Matthew hugged his brother and Alfred was more than happy to hide his face in Matthew's neck. Some nations looked guilty because they knew they were ones who blamed Alfred for things. Alfred just let his brother hug him. He never wanted anyone to know that sometimes he just wanted to be invisible, to disappear.

Do you know what it's like to be invisible? To be ignored? And when you are noticed they even mistake you for someone else. That is my life. I live in my brother's shadow. Everyone talks about how great his country is. How rich it is, how free it is, how it's so much better then that other country they can't even remember the name of. I sometimes wonder... if I died today... would anyone notice? Or would they go on with their lives completely oblivious? All i want is to know that I mean something. All I want is to be acknowledged that I'm here and someone cares. All I want, is to be noticed. Canada

Tears welled in Alfred's eyes as he hastily tried to wipe them away not wanting to seem weak. He didn't mean to over shadow his brother, really he didn't, if anything he wanted Matthew to get more (positive) attention. Alfred pulled away from Matthew and made his way out of the room and let his tears fall hidden in his long sleeves. He was a horrible brother to him. He didn't deserve a brother like Matthew.

Francis had tears in his eyes, to think that his former colony would think like that was heartbreaking. Francis stood up and walked over to Matthew and enveloped him in a hug. Matthew buried his face and Francis's shirt and hugged back. Arthur looked on sadly with the other nations. Matthew looked up to see that his brother was not by him anymore.

"Alfie?" Matthew whispered looking around for his twin.

Canada saw that the door was wide open and followed his brother outside. Alfred was sitting on the floor in the hallway trying to restrain his tears and wiping away the few that managed to fall. Matthew walked towards him and sat down by his brothers side he said.

"Alfie, whats wrong?" Matthew questioned as he touched Alfred's shoulder.

Alfred flinched away and whimpered.

"Al talk to me please." Matthew begged.

"I'm sorry." Alfred replied softly. "I'm so sorry.

"For what?" Matthew asked a bit confused.

"For being such a horrible brother. I always shadow over you, I don't try to really I don't. I'm sorry." Alfred continued to repeat sorry over and over.

Matthew pulled his brother into a hug and tried to calm him down.

"Shhh, It's okay Alfie. I'm fine. It's okay." Matt soothes as he rubbed Alfred's back.

"But its not okay! I don't deserve a brother like you. You're always so loving, nice and caring. How do you not hate m, everyone else does!? You really should hate me, I completely deserve it. I'm a horrible brother. Why do you even put up with me?" Alfred asks quietly.

"I don't hate you and I never will. Please don't talk like that Alfie. I put up with you because your my twin and I love you. And I will always be you twin and I will always be there for you." Matt says.

Alfred cried happily, choosing to put his faith in his brother and trust him completely. Matthew hugged him tightly trying to comfort him. France poked his head out of the room and went over to and knelt in front of his twins. He wiped away the tears and felt his heart break even more at seeing the tear stains and the look of tentative hope in both the twins' eyes.

"Are you alright now Alfred?" France asked. "And you Matthew? Ready to go back to the room?"

Alfred nodded quietly and stood up still holding Matthew's sleeve needing the comfort it brought to him. Matthew stood up as well and together the trio returned to the room.

"Would you like me to read lad?" England asked.

Alfred nodded and passed the book to Arthur.

 **China doesn't understand why people are scared of Russia and it makes him sad when they treat him like a monster. He wasn't always kind and yes he did harm many people BUT WHICH NATION DIDN'T?!**

A stunned silence descended upon the nations as they realized that China was right and that Russia wasn't a monster. Yes, he may be intimidating or scary but if they went by his history most nations could be deemed nations. Many may have changed their ways but at heart a 'monster' lay within all of them.

"You are right China," France admitted. "We have been every unfair and unjust to Russia.

The other nations chimed in their agreements making Russia's somewhat twisted heart swell with a bit of love. His behavior wasn't his fault, it was just how he was raised.

"I think it would best if we go back our things and get ready to leave." Germany said after a brief pause.

"Ve~ okie dokie Germany." Italy agreed.

All the nations slolwy exited the room eventually leaving Alfred and Matthew alone.

"Is it okay to get a jet? Should I hire a bus instead? Maybe a train?" Alfred fretted as he started biting his nails.

"Its okay Alfred, breathe. I'm sure the other nations wouldn't mind taking a plane, stop worrying." Matthew reassured. It's going to be fine."

* * *

"Wow is that your house America?" Italy asked wide eyed. "Ve~ its very pretty."

America put the key into the door nervously hoping that his house was acceptable enough for the other nations.

"Damn it," Alfred mumbled as the keys fell from his slightly shaky hands. "I'm sorry."

The door opened on its own and revealed a little white alien behind who was glaring at the nations beside Alfred and Matthew.

"Fucking bitch," Tony greeted. "Bitch fucking fucking."

"Yeah they'll be staying for a while buddy," Alfred nodded as he scooped up Tony in a nervous hug. "You don't mind do you?"

"Okay can someone explain what the fuck is that?" Romano snapped.

"Oh this is Tony, by bestest alien friend ever." Alfred smiled as he walked in and put Tony down.

"Wait aliens are real? I thought that was just television and movies." Spain asked surprised.

"Tony is 100% real," Alfred said as he gestured for the other nation's to enter.

"Woah," A nation mumbled surprised. "This is beautiful."

The first thing one would notice upon entering America's house was the gorgeous ornate chandelier that hung from the ceiling. At first glance it looks to be a bright white, but if you look closer the chandelier shows its true colors, and appears to be the color that best reflects the moods of the residents. Today, it was a soft pink. It looked to be in the shape of a wreath pressed up against the roof, but decorated with frail glass figures of flowers that represented each country. The largest flowers were the lily, maple leaf, plum blossom, iris, knapweed, chrysanthemum, chamomile, tudor rose, and a simple rose. These flowers stood out among the variety of blossoms. At the top of each light, was an animal. There were 9 lights dangling. Each was the national animal of the G8 (plus China). A beaver, a rooster, a carp, a lion, an eagle, a panda, a bear, a wolf, and a bison. The entire chandelier had been designed and built by the North American twins.

The next thing you see are the winding hallways, that would take anyone a few days to figure out where each led to. The hallways were covered with soft red carpeting and were lined with a silky gold fabric. All of the walls contained paintings that varied in size. Many of the paintings were recreations of famous paintings, or original ones by the owner of the house and others.

"So um I don't have enough rooms for everyone to room separately," Alfred admitted twisting his hands nervously. "So you guys will be bunking together and one can room alone."

"Ve~ big brother can we room together?" Feliciano asked a visibly surprised Lovino.

Romano nodded wordlessly and moved to stand closer to is new temporary roommate. The roomates were decided one by one.

1\. Felciano and Lovino

2\. Antonio and Ludwig

3\. Yao and Kiku

4\. Francis and Arthur

5\. Matthew and Alfred

6\. Ivan

"Okie dokie now that's all settled I'll lead you guys to the bedrooms," Alfred said happily. "Sorry if they're a bit dusty, I didn't expect any company. I should probably give you a tour right?"

"It would be appreciated." Arthur agreed.

"Well the kitchen is this way," Alfred directed as he walked in the direction of the kitchen.

The other nations followed him admiring his home.

"Ve~ is this your main house America?" Italy asked as he came out of the kitchen with a surprised look on is face.

"Yeah, I spend most of my time here," Alfred responded as he pulled out an old comic book. "Came from here just before the meeting actually."

"Then where's all your food?" Italy asked concerned. "There isn't even anything canned."

"Oh I'm I wasn't sure how long the meeting would last so I didn't bother restocking. I'm sorry I'll go out and do some shopping right now." Alfred apologized twisting his hands nervously.

"It's dark and it's raining very hard America San," Japan pointed out. "Perhaps that would be better reserved for the morning."

France wandered into the kitchen curiously and ran a long finger along the stove top.

"Why is it so dusty? Its not like the meeting has been going on for a month," France thought as he started poking around the kitchen. "Maybe the fridge will have more in it."

Francis opened the black fridge door and was greeted by the sight of a few vegetables pushed back in the corner, a few protein shakes and some weight loss smoothies. There was no meats or snacks or anything else besides that within the entire kitchen.

"How odd," Francis thought as he continued poking around. "There is nothing here to eat besides that, even if he's a vegetarian one cannot survive on a few sticks of carrots, one head of lettuce and two or three tomatoes. Maybe he is right and I'm just over exaggerating and looking too deep into it."

* * *

"I'm going to shower Mattie," Alfred announced as he grabbed his bathtowel and night clothes. "Make yourself at home bro."

Matthew nodded still sipping on a cup of Maple tea as he flipped through the television channels ignoring the loud advertisements for the most part.

"BUY! BUY! BUY!"

"An all new episode of-"

"There is always another-"

"From the director of the-"

"Please take a moment out of your day to stop and listen to something that might just save someone's life," An African American woman on tv pleaded. "...anorexia ...recognise the signs ...deadly."

Matthew looked up at the advertisement and watched the woman name a help hotlineas well as other useful information. As if by date Alfred walked out of the bathroom that exact moment looking every bit like the typical anorexia victim the woman had just described. His superman themed pjamas hanged off him limply, his hair looked thinner than it used to be and he looked absolutely exhausted. Alfred just looked so small and frail standing in the doorway of the bathroom for once without his infamous jacket on.

The coffee mug slipped from Canada's hand as he gaped at Alfred shocked. The younger immediately looked over to his older brother worried and glanced briefly at the television.

"Anorexia is a disease." The woman continued.

"Oh my god Alfred." Matthew whispered as he stood up.

"What?" Alfred asked confused. "Is there something in my face?"

Matthew walked over to his brother slowly as not to frighten him away and pulled him into a loving embrace.

"Alfred I'm so sorry I never realized," Matthew apologized crying softly. "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Alfred asked confused. "You haven't done anything wrong."

Matthew gestured to the paid television program which was describing the signs and side effects of anorexia.

"I- I'm not anorexic Matthew," Alfred denied. "If anything I'm a fat, overweight pig."

Matthew directed Alfred over to the bed trying to stay strong for Alfred.

"You aren't overweight, if anything I think you're underweight," Matthew rebutted. "You need help Alfred. Will you let me help you?"

"I don't need any help gaining weight," Alfred replied bitterly. "That's one of the few things I'm good at, gaining weight and being a stupid idiot."

"Both those things are very untrue," Matthew said stubbornly. "You're very intelligent and very slim if anything. I swear to God I'm going to help you get better.

Alfred stared at Matthew blankly for a moment and removed himself from Matthew's grip and to his side of the bed.

"I'm going to sleep." Alfred announced as he turned his back to Matthew.

Matthew gazed at him sadly, turned off the lights and television and crawled into bed next to his brother. Alfred curled into his brother seeking some semblance of warmth not a few minutes later. Matthew pulled the covers more into his younger brother doing his best to keep him warm and to get him to stop trembling.

* * *

 **Author's Note**

 **Hey guys, I know I haven't updated in a while but at least this update is pretty long right? Any questions? Feel free to ask me if you don't understand something or see a typo. Also this is unedited so I'm sure you noticed a few typos. Well anywho guys, bye!**


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